You've all been very naughty!
-Headline of the day-
"Church seeks 'Santa Claus will take you to hell' sign to accompany Nativity display."
Just when you think the made-up War on Christmas couldn't get any more insane, bullshit-ridden, or stupid, the hate-worshipping Westboro Baptist Church shows up to crank the loon-a-meter all the way up to eleven. Bless their batshit-crazy little hearts.
According to the report, "The church has asked Washington Gov. Chris Gregoire's office to put up a sign near its holiday display that says 'Santa Claus will take you to hell' among other religious statements in the state capitol's hallway." Other displays include "signs mocking atheism, an atheist sign celebrating the winter solistice and a sign mocking religion as 'myth and superstition' that enslaves minds alongside a more typical Nativity display." Also under consideration are a display depicting The Flying Spaghetti Monster and a plain aluminum Festivus pole -- don't laugh, we officially celebrate Festivus in Wisconsin, because the poles are made here. They put one up in the governor's mansion every year. Washington should consider it. I'd like to see Chris Gregoire's Feats of Strength and Airing of Grievances.
Anyway, in their trademark lunatic style, the cultists of Westboro even have a wordy, mocking message already planned for the sign; "You'd better watch out, get ready to cry, You'd better go hide, I'm telling you why 'cuz Santa Claus will take you to hell. He is your favorite idol, you worship at his feet, but when you stand before your God He won't help you take the heat, So get this fact straight: you're feeling God's hate, Santa's to blame for the economy's fate, Santa Claus will take you to hell." Oddly, there's not a word about God hating fags.
Fred Phelps must be slipping. (Raw Story)
-Cartoon time with Mark Fiore-
Hey kids! Keep watchin' that Obama guy. That way, no one's paying attention to George!
Click for animation
Don't worry boys and girls, it'll all pay off in bountiful CO2! (MarkFiore.com)
-Fun with polls-
A new NBC News/Wall Street Journal poll [PDF] finds that a large percentage of American voters are sitting near the phone with their pants on fire, which is vaguely appropriate, since their noses are as long as a telephone wire.
Asked if they'd voted for Bush twice, only 33% of respondents answered that they had. Asked if they'd never voted for him at all, 52% said they hadn't. See, those numbers don't exactly work out. Someone's not admitting that they screwed up royally once or twice. Hence, the flaming pants and elongated noses. This is the polling equivalent of denying you've ever even heard of someone. Bush is that unpopular.
In fact, even many in the GOP won't be sorry to see him go, says pollster Peter Hart, "He's much more likely to be seen as a Herbert Hoover that Democrats will continue to run against again and again."
That's not to say that Bush has no friends at all -- a whopping 18% say they'll miss the fella when he's gone. I had no idea that 18% of Americans were late-night comedy writers.
You learn something new every day. (Salon)