News Roundup for 2/5/09

Economic genius

-Headline of the day-
"What's Sarah Palin have to say about the stimulus package?"

I'd answer a question with a question and say, "Who cares?" but I've launched this ship and now I've got to sail it someplace. Besides, it turns out that some people do care, believe it or not. According to the report, "There's been national media speculation about her position and, according to the governor's office, erroneous reports in the Lower 48 indicating that she is supportive of the stimulus."

Key word here is "erroneous." Sarah's against it. Why? Because she's a maverick and the mavericky thing to do is join the rest of the GOP clones on the national stage and express exactly the same opinion they do.

Wait, that's not mavericky. More like zombyish.

Oh well, anyway she's against it. How against it is an open question, since the report tells us, "Palin hasn't gone so far as to say she'd send money back."

I'm guessing she wouldn't. Hypocrisy is all mavericky. (McClatchy)


-Dead freakin' center-
Salon's Alex Koppelman takes on former CNN idiot/current FOX moron Glenn Beck. In a post titled "Does Glenn Beck even know what socialism is?" the answer is made pretty obvious -- no. Seems Glenn confuses communism, socialism, and the economic stimulus bill. There may have never been a less knowledgeable man on cable news than Glenn Freakin' Beck.

But it's Koppelman's warning before a video clip that scores a bullseye. "One word of warning -- this may be the dumbest television I've ever seen," he writes, "And I used to watch 'The Real World.'"

There is video at the site, but I don't recommend you watch it. It could conceivably reduce your IQ. (Salon, with video)


-Maybe not the best business model-
GOP Rep. Pete Sessions has the answer to all his party's problems -- become more like a fanatical group of religious lunatics who want to oppress women, gays, and those who don't share their religion.

Wait, that's not clear enough. It sounds like the Republican party now. Let's make that a fanatical group of Afghani religious lunatics who want to oppress women, gays, and those who don't share their religion.

OK, that's better.

"Insurgency, we understand perhaps a little bit more because of the Taliban," Session said in an interview with Hotline. "And that is that they went about systematically understanding how to disrupt and change a person's entire processes. And these Taliban -- I'm not trying to say the Republican Party is the Taliban. No, that's not what we're saying. I'm saying an example of how you go about [sic] is to change a person from their messaging to their operations to their frontline message. And we need to understand that insurgency may be required when the other side, the House leadership, does not follow the same commands, which we entered the game with."

Is it just me or does about 95% of that make absolutely no sense at all? Seriously, I have only the vaguest idea what the hell he's trying to say. Someone check and see if Pete's had a stroke or something.

Still, Republican women would be wise to get themselves burqas. Sarah Palin, this means you. (Alternet)