News Roundup for 2/11/09

Tom Hanks starts a fire in scene from 'Cast Away'
Pastor Danny Nalliah

-Headline of the day-
"Abortion to blame for fires: Pastor."

Australian Pastor Danny Nalliah proves that you don't have to be an American evangelical to be crazier than a sack of cats. Australian evangelicals can be just as goofy. According to the good pastor, the cause of wildfires that have killed at least 21 people is abortion in Victoria.

Pastor Dan claims to have had a dream about trees burning back in October and says that he woke with "a flash from the Spirit of God: that His conditional protection has been removed from the nation of Australia, in particular Victoria, for approving the slaughter of innocent children in the womb."

Seems to me the time to bring this little prophecy of his up would've been in October -- it's a little late to be helpful now.

"The Bible is very clear," he said. "If you walk out of God's protection and turn your back on Him, you are an open target for the devil to destroy."

Entirely coincidentally, Pastor Danny's church is called the "Catch the Fire Ministries."

Victoria officials are looking for arsonists who may be responsible for these fires. Pastor Danny Nalliah might be a good place to start. (Brisbane Times)

-Rabid FOX viewers-
Speaking on FOX's business channel, lefty lawyer and radio host Mike Papantonio screwed up a cliched metaphor and called Republicans a "one trick dog." At least he didn't call them a "one trick dog and pony show" -- although, that might also be appropriate.

Speaking on the subject of the stimulus package, "Pap" took GOPers to the woodshed. "You know what the problem is?" Papantonio asked. "The American people know that the Republicans have no ideas. They're like dinosaurs. They have one talking point. You know what it is, Stuart? It's the same thing I hear you say on this show. Cut taxes and deregulate. You're a one -- Republicans are a one-trick dog." In case that wasn't enough, he added that Republicans are "boneheads."

That didn't go over so well. According to the report, "Ironically, those who appeared to be most upset with Papantonio's name-calling resorted to attacks themselves -- only far more extreme."

"Mike Papantonio," one listener emailed FOX. "May you die a horrible death from brain cancer you frigging scumbag."

"Better hope you're on a bail-out list when you start feeling the pain that the great-half-african icon, y'all put up there in Our face, falters again, and again, there won't be enough stimulus to keep your sad voices on the air," wrote a more racist FOXster.

"Hey Mike, too funny!" said a third. "Saw you on Neil Cavuto today. What a frigging communist you are and now we all know it. The more of you who speak out, the easier it is for we Americans to stop you from finishing the job of communizing America. Keep up the good work. Ha!!!"

"You frigging treasonous pig," was the entirety of another.

It's surprising, really. Papantonio compared Republicans to dogs and Republicans are the ones who freak out.

You'd think it would've been dog owners. (Raw Story, with video)

-Bonus HotD-
"On Darwin’s 200th birthday, only 39 percent of Americans believe in evolution."

That's right, it's Charles Darwin's 200th birthday tomorrow and only 39% of Americans think he was right. Never mind that evolutionary biology is an applied science (i.e., it works and produces results), not everyone is sold. So says Gallup.

The good news is that, of the three groups the poll broke respondents down into, people who accept evolution make up the largest group. These are followed by 36% who "don’t have an opinion either way."

Still, the smallest minority -- creationists -- make up 25% of the sample. That's right, 25% of Americans think some bullshit fairy tale about talking snakes and magic apples makes more sense than the idea that species gradually adapt to their environments over time.

As a side note, 27% of Americans identify as Republican and the de facto leaders of the GOP are Joe the Plumber, Sarah Palin, and Rush Limbaugh.

So any way you cut it, about a quarter of Americans choose to be dumber than a sack of hammers at any given time. When you consider ignorance to be a virtue, the ones who think they're virtuous are ignorant as all hell. (Think Progress)

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