News Roundup for 1/14/09

Coast Guard helicopter
'Hey inauguration-goer, your ride's here!'

-Headline of the day-
"Bush declares emergency for inauguration."

According to the report, "President George W. Bush on Tuesday declared an emergency in the District of Columbia that will let the nation's capital tap deeper into federal coffers for Barack Obama's inauguration." That's the good news.

The bad news is that the extra money would come from FEMA.

You know what this means, right? People are going to have to wait for days until they're rescued by helicopter from DC rooftops. (Associated Press)

-Don't let the door hit ya in the ass...-
A new Rasmussen poll finds that 57% of respondents rate George W. Bush as one of the five worst presidents in American history -- only 6% put him in the five best.

According to the report, "Republicans aren’t much help to the retiring 62-year-old GOP president. While predictably 81% of Democrats rate Bush as one of the five worst presidents, so do 20% of Republicans. Nearly two-thirds of Republicans (65%) put Bush in the somewhere-in-between category, while only 11% say he was one of the five best chief executives." Looking at independents only, 62% say he's in the worst five and only 2% think he's in the top five.

More bad news, the largest portion of respondents (41%) said he'd be remembered most for the Iraq war, followed -- by a long, long margin -- by 16% who say he'll be remembered for the response to 9/11.

There's your historical legacy, George. Enjoy it. (Rasmussen Reports)

-Bonus HotD-
"Kids with Nazi-themed names in state custody."

Remember little Adolph Hitler Campbell of Holland Township? He and his two sisters have been placed in the custody of the state.

According to the report, "Holland Township Police Sgt. John Harris workers from the state Division of Youth and Family Services removed 3-year-old Adolf Hitler Campbell and his younger sisters, JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell."

Unfortunately, the cops won't says the child-welfare agency doesn't tell cops why they're ordered take kids, as a matter of policy. And DYFS won't tell the AP.

What could a couple of neonazi hillbillies do to have the state take their kids? Meth lab? Child abuse? This is one case where no one's going to say, "Wow, now there's a surprise!" Seriously, it's nearly impossible to believe that nazis could be good parents. The safest assumption you could make is that Heath and Deborah Campbell are probably so stupid they suck at everything. (Associated Press)

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