Next week on Oprah: Hillary’s miracle Gobal Warming diet


(Only their TV ratings can tell them apart…)

First, haven’t you also often wondered, over way too many years, what Oprah could have achieved if she hadn’t spent so much of this time trying to lose weight.

All those sheer endless shows spent on miracle diets, personal chefs, unbearable optimism and hour after prime time hour of frustrated tears and quite nauseating mea culpas…

If only all this energy, measured in Kilo Jouls or otherwise, had been spent on less frivolously selfish matters.

We could have had manned rockets on Mars by now, found cures for cancer, AIDS and dandruff and harnessed the power of the sun, if only Oprah had stoically learnt to bear her harness of blubber and had focused her not inconsiderable powers on slightly more important things than trying to get into a size six cocktail dress.

Anyway, I was reminded of the big O’s massive gravitational struggles when I read the following news article:

“Hillary Clinton, the US Secretary of State, has compared the challenge of fighting climate change to her own struggle to lose weight. Speaking to State Department staff on Earth Day, Mrs Clinton said more must be done to reduce the department’s environmental footprint and conceded this was a big challenge, much like one of her personal battles.

“Often times when you face such an overwhelming challenge as global climate change, it can be somewhat daunting - it’s kind of like trying to lose weight, which I know something about. You think, oh I only have to lose X numbers of pounds but it seems like such a far away goal,” she added. “It’s kind of like world peace and so therefore why even try?”"


The road to world peace is strewn with discarded diet pills and torn little black numbers.

(Superslimmers Hillary and Oprah: Coming to save a universe near you…!)

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