Worse than waterboarding: Did the CIA use sharks?


(Bored with boarding…?)

Science can be tough. ‘Rigorous’ is the word our boys and girls in the white coats prefer – and not just because it’s a ‘dog eat dog’ world out there, when it comes to getting juicy grants and that personal holy grail of each and every scientist: ‘Tenure.

No, the whole business of science is hard. You have to test theories to destruction and then do it over and over again. Scientists are a bit like Rambo: You barely survive killing one group of pajama wearing folks and then you’re sent out to do the same to a bunch of guys in turbans, after which some Slavic furry hats await, after which…

It just never ends.

Even worse, it’s not always a few nose-fulls of goo in a test tube or a bunch of mice that get tested to destruction.

Truly, forget about that ‘dog eat dog’ nonsense. It can be a ’shark eat scientist’ world too:

“Sharks can be trained like dolphins to feed from keepers, roll over and enjoy cuddles, according to new research. In experiments carried out in the US some varieties of shark allowed themselves to be picked from the water and cuddled. Keepers at the UK’s Sea Life Centres will now use the training techniques in the hope that they will end up with hundreds of trained sharks.”

It does make you wonder how these US researchers got the necessary volunteers to ‘carry out experiments.’ Perhaps the CIA did a bit more than simply waterboarding those captured terrorist suspects?

People are always claiming torture doesn’t work but I guess giving someone the option to either come up with the postal codes of their leaders or go cuddle a shark could be quite effective.

It’s also nice to hear that, if this CIA theory is true, the American Intelligence Community still shares both information and various information gathering techniques with its British counterparts.

Mind you, if MI5 would indeed start to use these same techniques on the same type of ‘volunteers’ in the UK, at those so-called Sea Life Centres, that truly would be a case of ‘extraordinary rendition’ indeed.

(AC/DC didn’t know the half of it…)

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