Open letter: If You're a Conservative...Maybe You NEED to Be Offended.

You people just wouldn't fucking listen.

Like schoolyard bullies with a parent as a chaperon, you thought you would never be sent to the principal's office. Your political irrelevance would be funny, except...you dragged all of us down with you.

If we questioned YOUR president, WE were unpatriotic. If we questioned YOUR facts, we didn't know enough to follow a real news source and were 'Victims' of the liberal media. Oh, we withstood your condescension, even all the while knowing that you could barely spell; that your lack of a worldly or human perspective was the main reason you believed as you did; that your innate laziness led you to inquire no farther than the level at which your pre-supposed views were validated, and no deeper.



You watched Fox News and read Michelle Malkin and Ann Coulter; you made cracks about niggers being lazy and Jews needing to be 'perfected'; you agreed when it was promulgated that 'Non-Christians' were aggressive and inferior; and you questioned not once the fuzzy math or the slanted slop that passed for journalism in the intellectual hovels you frequented.

Well, you weren't the only ones. You have had lots of company at this particular trough. Ignorance has run rampant for far too long. Now people are dying. All that hate from the 2008 presidential campaign- you know the one; the one wherein people at Republican rallies chanted 'KILL HIM' about Barack Obama and NONE of you spoke up- is coming home to roost.



I of course recognize my own culpability here. I wanted this particular Helter Skelter to occur, because it had been a long time coming, and it was needed to thin out your particular herd. I liked Barack Obama from the outset- he is smart, and funny, and articulate and that was a whole new reality after eight years of having a president who truly was dumber than a third-grader- but first and foremost, I wanted him to win, because I knew that the knuckle-dragging Right Wingers would lose their fucking minds. And they have. For all the piss and vinegar I can muster towards conservatives in general, that are mind-numbingly predictable, and they never let you down when there is a chance for them to be vocal, violent, and ignorant.

A doctor was killed- IN A CHURCH. A security guard was killed, doing his job protecting people at a HOLOCAUST museum. Had the Conservative movement looked inward? No, they can't. Deep down- on a level that can't reach and would never admit to- they know that they all had a hand in this.



Bill O'Reilly now claims- after 28 mentions of 'Tiller the Baby Killer' that he had anything to do with encouraging his listeners to violence against the doctor. Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh have tried to spin the the von Brunn museum shooting was an isolated LEFTIST incident. They are indignant and insulted that anyone would associate them with those bad anti-abortion zealots or white-supremacists.



Even after such a series of events, Sarah Palin is mad again, because the world knows that she is both the joke and the punchline, and she is too pig-ignorant to accept as much and kindly go away. She lives in her own little world where nothing matters but her, and she's mad because David Letterman made a few jokes at her expense, and some of that comedic jizz spilled over onto her lovely daughter. You know, the lovely daughter no one in America knew about until Palin herself shoved her down our throats. No, not that one- the OTHER daughter. You know. Whats-her-face. Trick? Trogg? Trip-Trap? Oh, it will come to me.

Sarah Palin is a media whore. She is a demonstrably ignorant bumblefuck hillbilly, and she paraded her kids on the political stage during the campaign and put her unmarried, pregnant teenage daughter out there to be gawked at and commented on.

So now what the hell is her problem when someone makes a comment? Dave has always been a smart-ass and makes fun of everything with a tongue in cheek sort of humor, so she needs to get over herself. That mama bear act ain't working! She won't go on Letterman because she couldn't handle his quick wit and snarky comments. She wouldn't be a very good guest anyway because she doesn't have a high enough IQ to give Dave any sort of snappy reparte. Palin dragged baby Trig, the one with Down's syndrome, all over the stage during the campaign, as if he were some rag doll. I have no respect at all for that woman.

If what I've said offends you...Maybe you NEED to be offended.

If You're a Conservative at all...maybe you NEED to be offended. You need to be shocked out of your complacency. You need to take a good look at the people you've chosen to believe, support, emulate and parrot. You need to look inward, and question whether or not you want o carry on in this way. The People spewing hate and nonsense- YOU gave them their voice. You made Fascistic policy acceptable. YOU did this to US.


WE are sick of YOU.
Yes, YOU- Joe Six-Pack. Yeah, the Nascar-watching brother-fucker (entranced with cars driving in a circle) who becomes a political powerhouse on a level with Benjamin Disraeli whenever he clicks onto the Fox News channel. The guy who insists upon having that dreck playing in every bar, every barbershop, every airport lounge. We're onto you. We are NOT happy, we will NOT be nice. We will NOT apologize. We will NOT stop.




We will ask you why your political views are more suited to the backwaters of Alabama in the 1950's as opposed to the fluoridated present day. When you get your facts wrong, we will NOT allow you to continue on blithely spilling your ignorance. We will call you out for your stupidity, and we will not longer pretend- for your benefit alone- that you're alternative world-view is relevant. It's not.
It never fucking was.