News Roundup for 5/21/09

The numbers '9/11'
Pictured; former vice president Dick Cheney

-Headline of the day-
"Cheney speech reportedly refers to 9/11 25 times."

We can drop the "reportedly" now. It did.

Dick continued his campaign to save his own ass today with a speech to the American Enterprise Institute. In that speech, he talked about 9/11. A lot. We had to torture people because of 9/11. We had to fight a big, stupid war because of 9/11. 9/11 once kicked Dick Cheney's dog. If it weren't for war and torture, 9/11 would've come to your house and 9/11ed you with a 9/11... And no one wants that.

Accept, of course, Barack Obama. He's a secret Muslim terr'ist commie.

Never let it be said that anyone in the Bush administration has ever appealed to your courage. For them, a good American is a cowardly American. If someone says "al Qaeda" and you don't immediately wet your pants, it means you hate America and want the terr'ists to win.

It's not the flag pins that show you who are the finest, most patriotic among us -- it's the strong smell of urine. (Raw Story)

-Republicans for slavery-
You've got to wonder what Republican National Committee head Michael Steele thinks about this one.

As President Obama gave his big "Torture is evil" speech today, the RNC sent out a tweet to the Republitwits reminding them that Obama hates America. "as he prepares to deliver remarks in hall that holds the constitution, flashback obama: 'constitution flawed' http://bit.ly/tFL7O #RNC," the Republican party twittled.

Hahahaha! Obama's a dumbie and commie who hates the Constitution! Let's all hate him! Grrrr!

The problem here is pointed out by Media Matters; "Obama Explains The Constitution's 'Fundamental Flaw' Was Slavery. The out of context video the RNC links to contains audio from a September 6, 2001 program called 'Slavery and the Constitution' on WBEZ Chicago. On the show, Obama explained that the 'fundamental flaw' was 'Africans at the time were not considered as part of the polity that was of concern to the framers.' In addition, the framers did not 'see... it as a moral problem involving persons of moral worth.' [WBEZ Radio, accessed 5/21/09]"

So Barack Obama's against the Constitution as it was way back when it said slavery was cool -- not a real shocking position to be held by the first black POTUS. I'm guessing he's probably also against the Constitution that said that women couldn't vote. He might even think that Prohibition was a bad idea.

Now it'd be easy to jump to the conclusion that the RNC was just trying to play gotcha politics with selective quoting. But that would suggest some sort of dishonesty on their part and we all know that, in politics, accusing someone of lying is just the worst thing ever. Absolutely verboten.

So we have to take the GOP at their word; they believe that Barack Obama is wrong for opposing slavery. Which means they're all for it. Which, in turn, means they're even more shitty and evil than everyone already says they are.

It's either that or they're not being extremely honest. And it would be wrong to assume that. (AMERICAblog)

-Speaking of Dick-
The Republican point man for electing people to the Senate is saying that candidates may get a special friend to help them out on the campaign trail. They might just get a little boost from the most popular figure in America, Dick Cheney.

"I think the vice president is controversial in some quarters, but there is nobody that knows better than he does what the threats are that are facing our nation and why it is necessary to take extraordinary measures that will affect our country," Sen. John Cornyn said at a breakfast briefing hosted by the Christian Science Monitor.

Asked for comment, a Democratic spokesperson said, "Yay!" (Politico)

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