News Roundup for 5/12/09

Alan Keyes
Way crazier than you'll ever be

-Headline of the day-
"Keyes: Obama At Notre Dame As Bad As Catholic Molestation Scandal."

You can always count on Alan Keyes establish his right wing nutjob bona fides every time he opens his mouth. Some people aren't crazy, some people are just a little crazy, and some people are extremely crazy.

Then there's Alan Keyes, who's just all different kinds of crazy.

See, Barack Obama will speak at Notre Dame's commencement and the religious right thinks this is just the worst thing that ever happened in the history of mankind. President Obama's pro-choice, the Catholic Church is not. So inviting Obama to speak to students at a Catholic college is worse than anything, ever.

So first Keyes got himself arrested for trespassing during a protest, then when he got out, he ran to FOX News to assure them that, indeed, this was the worst thing that ever happened in the history of mankind.

"The invitation was in and of itself a scandalous action," Keyes said. "Scandal, as you know, induces others to sin. This is as great a crisis for the Catholic church as the crisis that occurred some years back with the abuse."

If there's one thing that can be said about Keyes, it's that he has absolutely no sense of proportion whatsoever. This will be the worst thing that ever happened in the history of mankind until Planned Parenthood runs a TV ad or Sarah Palin gets the hiccups.

I think he's probably still mad about the time Obama kicked his ass. That was embarrassing. Keyes doesn't just hold a grudge, he clamps on and feeds on it like a deer tick.(Right Wing Watch)

-Cartoon time with Mark Fiore-
Hey kids, think the Republicans don't have a plan? They've got Rightwing Ralphie, the Party Purifier!

Party Purifier
Click for animation

Once the GOP chases out all the commies and RiNOs, the party will be perfect!

Tiny, but perfect! (Mark Fiore)

-Bonus HotD-
"Rove: Ending Torture Gives Terrorists 'A Tool To Make It More Attractive To Recruit People'."

Because, you see, now the terr'ist know they won't be tortured. "[T]he memoranda about the enhanced interrogation techniques and making them public has been a value to our enemy," says Karl Rove. "It has served, frankly, I think, as a recruiting tool. They can now take these memoranda and go to prospective, you know, recruits and say, This is the worst that the enemy, the United States, would ever do to you, and they've even forsworn these things."

Rove's reputation as the "Boy Genius" of the Bush administration is on full display here, since he kind of knocks the legs out from under the "it's not torture" argument. Also, while all of this not-torture was going on, everyone in the administration was denying it was happening. This would mean that Karl Rove, George Dubya, Dick Cheney, and company were just as guilty of this as anyone in the Obama administration -- if not doing it and saying so is a recruiting tool, so is lying and saying you're not doing it.

Really makes you wonder why Karl was so eager to aid in terr'ist recruiting, doesn't it? I say we not-torture him with waterboarding until he tells us who else is in his al Qaeda cell, writes a detailed confession, and agrees to never go on the teevee machine again.

We have to, really. Anything else would put America in danger. (Think Progress)

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