News Roundup for 5/20/09

Beavis and Butthead
Typical RNC members

-Headline of the day-
"Republicans Say No to 'Democrat-Socialist' Resolution and Clown Suits."

Too bad, really. Writes US News' Robert Schlesinger, "RNC Chairman Michael Steele managed some successful party leadership today. Though in all fairness, that leadership essentially took the form of convincing his fellow Republicans not to dress up in a collective clown suit and convey their policy preferences through air horn blasts."

That collective clown suit came in the form of a resolution to the Republican National Committee to rename the Democratic party the "Democrat Socialist party," offered because grade school name-calling is so constructive and so becoming of a national party.

There are still adults in the GOP, however, and they seem to have won the day -- kind of... Instead of a resolution renaming someone else's party, they've changed it "to condemn the 'Democrats march toward socialism.'" Because, again, that's so constructive. But the kids weren't happy about it.

"What's really both funny and scary about all of this is how seriously the fringe-nuts in the GOP take it," writes Schlesinger.

"This will be an opportune time for the RNC to exert bold and aggressive leadership by the passage of these resolutions, which our members and supporters are crying out for and which the American people need and deserve," said RNC member Jim Bobb -- who apparently has no last name -- from Indiana, an author of the original resolution.

Your leadership's already doing enough to make you look stupid, Jimmy Bobb, they really don't need your help. How on Earth do "the American people need and deserve" a bunch of screwballs hurling insults across the aisle, Bobby Jim? Seems to me, Billy Bob, that you guys -- as well as the rest of the nation -- have bigger problems than Democrats calling themselves by a name you don't like. Things like useless dumbasses from Indiana, sitting around with their thumbs up their asses, fiddling with pointless crap like this while Rome burns.

Oops! Sorry about that Gomer Jim. That there was what you call yer "historical reference." It's a little beyond deep thinkers such as yourself -- Rome, Nero... bunch of elitist stuff you wouldn't know about. Let me put it another way. You know how Beetle Bailey is always sleeping when things need to be done?

Yeah, it's like that. (US News & World Report)

-It's hard work-
Dirk Van Dongen -- I swear that's his name -- is a top fundraiser for Norm Coleman in his doomed quest to steal the Minnesota election from Al Franken. As this doomed quest goes on, the "doomed" part is becoming more and more apparent. Especially on the fundraising part, where Van Dongen comes in.

"There are legal limits to what you can give to Norm," he says. "Once you get people to max out they can’t do more for him directly. Which means the circle of people you have to reach out to is getting further away from him. That makes it somewhat more difficult to raise money."

Of course, that reaching out just got a little easier, since the National Republican Senatorial Committee just dropped $750,000 into Coleman's lap in a move that, according to Greg Sargent, raises "questions about whether GOP donors are funding an effort they know is doomed merely to keep the seat empty as long as possible."

Golly, y'think? There's that word "doomed" again. It's generally not used positively. Of course, that three-quarters of a million dollars they're spending now means three-quarters of a million dollars they won't be able to spend in 2010. But since when have Republicans ever played long ball? Thinking ahead is for America haters and commies. It's strategy and that's for fancypants elitists chess players.

Real Americans fly by the seat of their pants and make decisions impulsively. If pouring $750,000 down a rathole seems like a good idea at the time, then -- by God -- you'd just better go ahead and do it.

That's the thinking that got us into Iraq and look how that turned out. (Plumline)

-Americans are Pro-Life!-
Except they don't agree with the central argument of the anti-abortion movement.

Big headlines were generated last week when a Gallup poll found that most respondents (51%) call themselves "pro-life."

Yikes! A fundamental shift!

Yeah, not so fast. Saying you're pro-life is one thing, being pro-life is another. Turns out that when people say they're "pro-life," what they're really saying is that they're not super-comfortable with abortion -- not that they think it should be illegal. They just don't approve of it.

In fact, a new CNN poll shows that 69% of Americans do not want Roe v. Wade overturned. In strictly legal terms, that makes them pro-choice. What they actually call themselves is irrelevant. If the nuts with the signs in front of abortion clinics think they have an ally in the average American, turns out they're mistaken.

By the nuts' reckoning, the vast majority of Americans are still radical feminazi baby-killers. Sorry to rain on their parade. (MSNBC)

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