Lesson 130 ~Rock Bottom~

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Lesson 130 ~Rock Bottom~

Hey Lady Lu...
Do you remember when I could afford “Pumped Up Kicks” well I never could but my parents bought them for me and now the thought of them getting me anything almost kills me. I guess you call this existence up to now rock bottom but I still have so much further to fall; how I would love to finally stop falling, maybe I wouldn’t be scared anymore.

So what am I afraid of this week… still thinking about the car, what I could’ve done, should’ve done and didn’t but the good news is I didn’t have to spend that money I told you about in “With Life’s Sojourn”. What about the expo coming up, remember all that talk last year and I didn’t get in; I think I’m in this year and how I’m actually hoping I’m not. Where am I getting the money to pay for all this; I’m still working at Kohl’s but that had a meeting a few days back about how “people” are dressing and so I’ve been dressing up like that will save me and I need all the cash I can get.

Luna, one of these days The Abomination is going to ask what happened to my taillight, maybe someone actually saw and will talk, hell I might get fired tomorrow and then what huh? If only life could be as we are; you know how I am constantly seeking out fame and fortune and it seems the more I do the more it appears I only “Burn My Shadow” remember the whole truth thing that I am a virgin, like anyone does. Haven’t I told you before fame or infamy doesn’t matter but I suppose I would always be stronger when it came to infamy; I am so afraid of being found out about… everything.

What have I learned today… that I’m a “Bullet With Butterfly Wings” at the end of the day I’m still a scared little thing and what about people at work, Braxton, Chrissy, and that little dog Greta, I’m falling for, falling through, and falling to nothing. Luna for my final thought I’ve got nothing new except that I’m afraid, I need “Power” or an end to this, Rock Bottom.

LATE

Rock Bottom

Your feet never touched the ground
So there was never the sound

Of a chance taking
Mistake making
Orgasm faking
Cookies baking
Heart breaking

Girl
The end of the world
Not a bang but a whimper
Simple

* * *

My chance was but a byte
Before I went into the light
I dared you to move
Because I loved you
But you didn’t fall
No not at all

A mistake to be sure
Fell in love with a girl
An accident
Maybe a consequence
Road not taken
We never made it

On your back
You made that a fact
Like all the others
Yet my heart did flutter
It was only just a dream
To lie here and be

For you were so young
Tip of my tongue
Maybe
Possibly
Someday you would know
Over love’s threshold

Smitten and fallen
How I was callin’
This heart fell
Nowhere
Already burning
And I’m still yearning

* * *

Never touched the ground
Angel, I bow

Alone again
It never ends
Love led
Please the end
Thoughts of dead

Girls and angels
Heart was mangled
I live without them
Feet hit Rock Bottom

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.