News Roundup for 4/20/10

Man dress as fairy at pride parade
Sen. Lindsey Graham

-Headline of the day-
"Immigration Group Demands Lindsey Graham Admit He's Gay."

OK, now this is just stupid. There's a longstanding rumor that longstanding Senator Lindsey Graham -- a longstanding bachelor -- may be a longstanding gay. Everyone knows all about it. The rumor, I mean.

Anyway, Graham -- despite being one of the most conservative members of the Senate -- is often the target of wingnuts who think he isn't conservative enough... And, by "conservative," they mean "crazy." So, when Lindsey said something that wasn't crazy, an anti-immigration group went crazy for him.

See, Graham was speaking to the National Council of La Raza -- which everyone knows is a terrorist group bent on bringing whatever the Mexican version of Sharia law is to the US -- and he told them that "no group owns being an American." Hispanics can be American, blacks, whites, asians, eskimo... even Hispanics! Did I mention that Lindsey did all of this three years ago? I probably should have.

Despite the fact that Lindsey's statement was inarguably true and logical, William Sheen of Americans for Legal Immigration Political Action Committee decide it was the worst thing ever.

"Sometimes I wonder what it would take to make a person sell their country out like that," Sheen said. "There's one thing that it could be, that I'm going to put out in the open here today. It's a secret Lindsey Graham has& I hope this secret it isn't being used as leverage over Senator Graham, so today I think Senator Graham, you need to come forward and tell people about your alternative lifestyle and your homosexuality."

Because, see, being gay or not gay has everything in the freakin' world to do with immigration. Did I mention that "Graham=gay" is a longstanding rumor that every person with a heartbeat in Washington knows about? I did? Good, because that's important. It's not much leverage for blackmail when you can tell someone, "Lindsey Graham is gay!" and they whisper back, "Yeah, that's what I heard too..."

Bonus fun: Huffington Post reports that "ALIPAC has posted the video titled 'US Senator Graham is Gay' -- and tagged with the keywords 'queer' and 'fag' -- on YouTube, where various news outlets have covered it."

You stay classy, guys... (Mediaite)

-It explains everything-
How does a guy like Larry King manage to marry and divorce so many babes? Science has the answer:

Biologists discover Larry King lures women with fleshy head growth
Click for full comic

You know, I've noticed that it's always the jerk with the fleshy head growth who gets all the chicks... (Go Comics)

-Bonus HotD-
"Former government employee Dana Perino doesn't trust the government."

That's not as crazy as it sounds. Perino used to work for the Bush White House's press office -- she lied her ass off for a living. Given her experience, I wouldn't trust government either. I'd assume it was filled with shameless, lying chipmunks like Dana Perino. (Think Progress)

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