News Roundup for 8/31/09

Chuck Grassley
"Negotiating" healthcare reform to death

-Headline of the day-

Sen. Charles Grassley, the Republicans' point man on "bipartisan" healthcare reform negotiations has sent out a fundraising letter asking donors to help him defeat healthcare reform. Healthcare reform, according to Chuckles, will kill you. Mostly because it "would turn over control of your health care decisions to a federal bureaucrat... and take it way from you and your physician" and "would mean government rationing in the name of cost controls."

"I am working in the Senate to develop a viable alternative that is free-market based and rejects the pitfalls of government-run insurance," Chuck writes. You know, that really sounds like what we have now. That's about as detailed as he's apparently willing to be -- i.e., not at all. You don't even get the broadstrokes of his "alternative plan." I suppose there will be plenty of time for that after he finally pulls it out of his butt.

"The simple truth is that I am and always have been opposed to the Obama administration’s plan to nationalize health care," he tells us. As if everyone other than Max Baucus and Harry Reid didn't already know that.

In the meantime, Chuckie's afraid that "groups like MoveOn.org and ACORN will pour their resources into Iowa" to defeat him the next time around. So he needs like one or two hundred bucks. He also makes a big deal about the letter being an "Air Gram." That's an old fundraising trick to make the mailing seem more expensive; if people think it a campaign is pricey, they're more likely to help with the cost.

So send Chuck Grassley, lead GOP negotiator on healthcare reform, a few bucks to help him defeat healthcare reform. Because anything that might possibly be good for you, rather than corporations, is socialism. And, what are you, a commie?

To anyone out there still holding out hope for a bipartisan solution, I have a question: why did your mom let you eat lead paint chips as a child? Because you are really, really dumb. (Grassley fundraising letter [PDF], via Wonkette)

-Believing what you choose to believe-
Turns out that religious right icon Pat Robertson had himself a little surgery. Nothing major. Just what AP calls "10 hours of surgery to repair a heart disorder." Just a little tweak.

In a statement from his Christian Broadcasting Network, Pat gave the reason for his recovery. "Only the prayers of thousands of believing people kept me on this earth," Pat says. "As it is, I anticipate many more years of creative service in the ministry I founded (CBN), as well as Regent University and other endeavors devoted to the service of mankind. I cannot praise enough the dedication and professionalism of Dr. Andy Kiser and his staff who removed this growth from my continuously beating heart."

Yeah, but it wasn't the "professionalism of Dr. Andy Kiser and his staff" who saved you, it was "the prayers of thousands of believing people." The surgeons just shot microwaves into your chest for ten freakin' hours for shits and giggles. Gotta do something while you're waiting for all that prayer to kick in.

It makes you wonder why the old faith-healer even bothered with surgery... although, it's probably because it was his ass on the line this time. He's got important things to do, like selling miracle shakes that allow him to leg press 2,000 pounds.

There are a lot of chumps out there who are going unbilked and Jesus clearly wants Pat to suck them dry. (Right Wing Watch)

-Bonus HotD-
"Texas Secessionist To Health Care Reform Advocates: 'Go Back To The US Where You Belong.'"

The right is going fullblown whackadoodle as the teabaggers get even more vocal. At a rally in Austin this weekend, "tenthers" -- nutjobs who misunderstand the Tenth Amendment -- argued that the federal government was illegal. Or something like that. Seriously, who even knows?

Not only were heathcare reform supporters told to "go back to the US," but one speaker warned " that stepping off into secession may in fact be a bloody war."

You know what's the funniest about all this? These idiots call themselves "patriots." (Think Progress)

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