News Roundup for 8/28/09

Asshole elk-poker for Idaho Governor

-Headline of the day-
"Idaho GOP Gov. Hopeful jokes about buying 'tags' to hunt Obama."

Hahaha! Presidential assassinations are so funny! It's like extreme slapstick or something. However, some sourpusses don't see the humor in State funerals and weeping families. Because they don't have a sense of humor, I guess.

Anyway, Idaho gubernatorial candidate Rex Rammell -- an elk rancher -- was at a campaign event talking about wolf hunting tags. All of that is true, by the way; Rex Rammell, elk ranching, and Idaho wolf hunting tags are all real.

Some wisecracker in the audience shouted out something about "Obama tags" and Rex ran with it. "The Obama tags?" he said. "We'd buy some of those."

Then the killjoys got their noses bent out of shape and Rex was forced to put out a statement. According to the report, "Rammell told The Associated Press Thursday he was just being sarcastic and sees no reason to apologize for the comment."

Sarcasm! Liberals don't get sarcasm -- and conservatives like Rammell are just so freakin' brilliant.

Still, everyone wound up thinking that Rex Rammell, professional reindeer wrangler (something like that, anyway), was probably an asshole. So he went on Twitter, which no liberals or media ever use, and cracked another funny about it.

"Obama hunting tags was just a joke!" he tweetlepated. "Everyone knows Idaho has no jurisdiction to issue tags in Washington DC."

Hooboy! But this comedic genius is a laugh a minute -- which is totally what you want in a gubernator. Still, commie liberal terr'ist-lovers didn't get the joke and dived on his comments, smearing him as someone who's probably some kind of prick or jerk.

"Rex Rammell's comments are in very poor taste and should not have been said," said Sen. Mike Crapo (R-ID) in a statement. "Remarks like these should not even be made jokingly."

Another liberal Stiffy Stifferson decided he had to pile on, too. "It is absolutely irresponsible to say such inflammatory things, especially for someone who seeks to be a leader in Idaho," said Rep. Mike Simpson (R-ID). Even the local commie America-hater party chimed in; the Idaho Republican party says it "does not condone Rex Rammell's comments, whether in jest or not."

Freakin' commie lovin' terr'ists...

But Rex is standing his ground. It's all sarcasm and he ain't apologizin'. It's just sarcasm and Rex Rammell, Idaho potato wrestler, is totally not an amazingly clueless prick.

Teabags forever! w00t!(Raw Story, Think Progress)


-Cartoon time with Mark Fiore-
Hey kids, it's Dogboy and Mr. Dan. They're here to explain the Tree of Liberty!


Click for animation

Remember kids, stuff like healthcare and trains and bridges -- ok, not bridges -- are tyranny! (MarkFiore.com)


-Isn't it romantic?-
Maryland State Delegate Jon Cardin really knows what the ladies like. His super-romantic marriage proposal got him into hot water, however, as it got a little expensive for the city of Baltimore.

According to the report, "The marriage proposal took place Aug. 7 on a boat belonging to a Cardin friend. Neither police nor the lawmaker identified the owner. Marine unit officers boarded the boat and pretended to search it, finding the engagement ring. At that point, Cardin proposed, and his girlfriend, Megan Homer, accepted."

That's right, police boarded the boat -- complete with a helicopter hovering overhead -- and began to search it for contraband. There's nothing so romantic as giving your would-be fiancee the impression that you're smuggling crack or Mexicans or something. Pay attention guys!

When people found out about it, they were a little steamed. Cardin has promised to reimburse the city and has apologized to the mayor for the stunt.

I've often wondered how I'd pop the question if the time ever came. Now I know. I'll get my honey to believe I'm a serial killer with someone locked up in my basement. What woman could resist that? (Baltimore Sun)