News Roundup for 8/13/09

Circus Strong Man poster
Whole Foods CEO John Mackey

-Headline of the day-
"Whole Foods Exec Slams Health Care Reform, Says People Should Just Eat Whole Foods."

Because people who eat organic kumquats never get cancer, diabetes, the flu, or hit by a car. People who eat overly-expensive free-range pork chops never suffer from hearth disease, strokes, or being caught in a house fire.

It's just that simple.

"Recent scientific and medical evidence shows that a diet consisting of foods that are plant-based, nutrient dense and low-fat will help prevent and often reverse most degenerative diseases that kill us and are expensive to treat," writes Whole Foods CEO John Mackey in an op-ed for the Wall Street Journal. You can pick up "plant-based, nutrient dense and low-fat" foods on aisle four. Got MS or Parkinson's? Eat some damned lettuce, dumbass. Clears it right up.

All that medical research on stem cells and pharmaceuticals is a bunch of hooey. Get yourself a box of Dr. Hearty's Gluten-Free Pancake Mix (on sale, aisle nine) and you'll be right as rain. When Whole Foods CEO John Mackey gets sick, he takes a fresh-squeezed lemon juice enema and that does the trick. Hardly burns at all.

It's not that complicated, people. This isn't brain surgery, you know. (Talking Points Memo)

-Cartoon time with Mark Fiore-
Hey kids, here comes Barack Obama with Reform Madness! He wants to do bad things to people with health care reform!

Stranger danger! Stranger danger!

Reform Madness
Click for animation

Don't let dems make Sarah Palin kill Todd! (MarkFiore.com)

-Guess the quote-
OK. I'll post some words and you go ahead and guess whose they are. You ready? Here we go:

WHEREAS, Healthcare Decisions Day is designed to raise public awareness of the need to plan ahead for healthcare decisions, related to end of life care and medical decision-making whenever patients are unable to speak for themselves and to encourage the specific use of advance directives to communicate these important healthcare decisions. [...]

WHEREAS, one of the principal goals of Healthcare Decisions Day is to encourage hospitals, nursing homes, assisted living facilities, continuing care retirement communities, and hospices to participate in a statewide effort to provide clear and consistent information to the public about advance directives, as well as to encourage medical professionals and lawyers to volunteer their time and efforts to improve public knowledge and increase the number of Alaska’s citizens with advance directives.

WHEREAS, the Foundation for End of Life Care in Juneau, Alaska, and other organizations throughout the United States have endorsed this event and are committed to educating the public about the importance of discussing healthcare choices and executing advance directives.

That's right, it's Sarah Palin, declaring April 16th, 2008 "Healthcare Decisions Day" day in Alaska. She wanted everyone to discuss end of life care, so they're all prepared for the inevitable. Seems it was a good idea when she did it, but when Democrats put the same thing into a health care bill, it becomes "death panels." Of course, that was after she quit being governor because her Medicare system killed a bunch of people and became a fulltime Facebook troll.

Isn't blatant hypocrisy fun? (Think Progress)

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