News Roundup for 9/8/09

No, a different Milk

-Headline of the day-
"The implications of a 'Harvey Milk Day' observance."

The average American probably knows Harvey Milk as a man who's famous for being portrayed by Sean Penn in a movie. But Milk was a San Francisco Supervisor and first openly gay man elected to office in California. Milk was assassinated -- along with Mayor George Moscone -- by Dan White in 1978. Now, in honor of Milk's achievement -- and no doubt helped along by the movie -- the California Assembly has introduced a bill to establish Harvey Milk Day.

Needless to say, this is causing some to freak out. After all, gays are evil and anything short of a "Gays are Evil Day" would be an insult to Republican Jesus and a full-on assault on American families. And so, we come to SaveCalifornia.com, an organization dedicated to the thankless task of saving the state from the Homosexual Menace in general and Harvey Milk Day in particular. Obviously, a holiday commemorating Milk would turn all the kids in California as gay as it's possible to be.

"It could mean gay-pride parades on campus, mock gay weddings, and cross-dressing exercises because these are all things that Harvey Milk believed in," warns SaveCalifornia president Randy Thomasson. "And to remember his life and values is to go with his sordid history, both publicly and privately, that are detailed in his biography." That "sordid history" being his having sex with men, which is kind of implied by that whole "gay" thing.

If California kids have to celebrate Harvey Milk Day, they'll become gay crossdressers who are proud enough of that fact to throw a parade. Guaranteed. We know this because of other holidays named for historical figures, like the Martin Luther King Jr. Holiday, which turned every student black, or Columbus Day, which turned all the kids into genocidal Italians. And you've got to guard all your cherry trees on Washington's Birthday.

If you want your kids to turn into gay crossdressing genocidal black Italians who throw parades and chop down cherry trees, that's your business. But Randy Thomasson wants you to know you're not going to do it to other kids. That's where he draws the line. (OneNewsNow, via Right Wing Watch)


-Hypocrisy on the march in Texas-
Bobbie Jindal, Mitch McConnell, Eric Cantor, Saxby Chambliss, and Johnny Isaakson have all done it. It's the newest Republican fad. Now sometimes-secessionist, sometimes-not TX Gov. Rick Perry has taken it up. All these people have made a big deal about how much they hate the economic stimulus, then have turned around and used stimulus money themselves -- while taking all the credit for it.

Rick's the latest. After receiving stimulus cash for law enforcement, he claims it comes from the Texican Bank of Rick Perry's Ass. According to the report, "While Perry's office is the conduit for the federal money, the governor chooses which agencies receive the money and how it is spent. The political payoff has been great... Every time Perry doles out the federal Byrne grants [federal law enforcement funding], he sounds like the money is his."

"Texas is tough on crime and remains dedicated to equipping our law enforcement with the resources necessary to protect our citizens and ensure the safety of our communities," says Rick.

That'd be the federal "resources necessary to protect" your citizens, Rick.

Here's a fun question? Where's all that "tough on crime" federal moolah going to come from if you secede from the Union?

Oh, how silly of me. It'll be foreign aid. (Political Animal)


-Bonus [reddit] HotD-
"My Dad, 82 years old, grew up in Fascist Italy, his local government after the war was Communist, and he now lives in sort-of socialist Canada. His response to Republicans calling Obama fascist, communist, and socialist: 'America is a damned strange place.'"

Amen, brother. (reddit)