News Roundup for 9/2/09

Van Jones
May attempt to out-asshole the GOP

-Headline of the day-
"Obama adviser: Republicans are 'a**holes'"

Wow. I wonder what the missing letters are? I'm pretty good at Wheel of Fortune, let me give it a ponder.


Special adviser on the White House's Council on Environmental Quality Van Jones (who Glenn Beck is currently on a paranoid tear over) gave a lecture back in February where he took a question.

"When [President George W. Bush] was in office, [Republicans] had a majority; it wasn't 60, it wasn't more than 60, but they pushed through all of these bills," the questioner said. "But when we have 58, we seem to not be able to move things as progressively as many of us here would want, as Obama wants... how were they Republicans able to push things through when they had less than 60 sens, but we cant?"

"Well the answer to that is, they're assholes," Jones answered. OK, so there's that. But Jones isn't telling the whole story here; they're also whiners. Whining and assholery are a powerful combination.

The questioner said he was afraid that was the answer and Jones elaborated. "And Barack Obama is not an asshole," he said. "Now, I will say this: I can be an asshole, and some of us who are not Barack Hussein Obama, are going to have to start getting a little bit uppity."

Good to know. Now why don't you get started? If out-assholing the GOP is what it takes to get things done in Washington, I say we start pantsing them and stealing their lunch money pronto. (The Hill)

-Speaking of Republican assholes...-
...there's alway RNC chairman Michael Steele. He's really good at it.

Mike was giving a speech at Howard University yesterday when a 23 year-old grad told him that "everyone in this country should have access to good health care" and - according to the report -- "cited the case of her own mother who died of cancer six months ago because she couldn’t afford her prescription chemotherapy medications."

She got a round of applause.

Steele wasn't shaken, though. He's a professional asshole. He said she was just trying to get on the teevee machine. "So people go out to town halls, they go to the community, and they’re like this. (SHAKES ARMS) It makes for great TV," he said. "You’ll probably make it tonight. Enjoy it." Screw you and your dead mother. Cry me a freakin' river. Drama queen.

But that was only part of his assholery. According to Huffington Post, Mike's "effort to connect with young black students got off to a rather cringe-worthy start when right before the billed 'student dialogue' two dozen white members of area young Republicans arrived to sit in the reserved first two rows of the packed room."

Michael Steele, ladies and gentleman; he just may be the worst chairman the Republican National Committee has ever had.

And that's a highly competitive field. (Think Progress)

-Bonus HotD-
"Sanford, invoking Palin, vows to fight on."

Yeah, you go ahead and digest that for a bit.

Scandal-plagued SC Gov. Mark Sanford is resisting calls to resign, saying that he knows "what Sarah may have been feeling" when she quit the governor business. There was also a bunch of crap about God, but that's like wallpaper in a Sanford statement these days -- it's so ubiquitous you don't even notice it.

The important thing is that Mark's not giving up. No way. That's what quitters do. He's not going to quit being governor, going to fight on, like Sarah Palin did when she... ummm... quit being governor.

Damn, but do Republican voters ever get the elected officials they deserve... (Washington Times)

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