News Roundup for 9/1/09

Assorted nuts
Crowd shot of average teabagger protest

-Headline of the day-
"Protester holds up a copy of the 'U.S.S. Constitution' to prove that Congress can't regulate health care."

Teabaggers are dumber than stumps.

"Right here. I got a book here called the U.S.S. Constitution," says a genius at a town hall protest in San Diego. "I’m sure everybody's seen this before. And you know what? I've read this book three times now, and I've referenced it dozens of times and I can't find one little paragraph in here that says the government has the right to take over our health care."

Let me help you out there, Thomas Paineful.

"The Congress shall have power to lay and collect taxes, duties, imposts and excises, to pay the debts and provide for the common defense and general welfare of the United States; but all duties, imposts and excises shall be uniform throughout the United States..."

That's from Article I, section 8 of the US Constitution. The USS Constitution's a freakin' battleship, you moron.

Now go home and shut up. For your own sake. You're making a fucking ass of yourself. (Think Progress, with video)

-Glenn Beck finds someone crazier than Glenn Beck-
In an apparent attempt to make himself seem saner by comparison, FOX News' Glenn Beck interviewed Dallas-area pastor Stephen Broden, a black preacher who believes that abortion is a plot to wipe out black people in America.

Turns out that healthcare reform is also a plot by whites to commit a "black genocide." I'm not really sure how that works -- maybe healthier people are more likely to die or something. Anyway, Barack Obama -- who's half-white, remember -- is totally in on it. Because he's a commie and commies hate black people. Yeah, that's not so historically accurate, but this is Glenn Beck's Lobotomy Slumber Party we're talking about here.

"I believe what we’re seeing is an orchestrated attempt to radically change this country from what the founders had in mind," Broden said. "There is a deliberate attempt on the part of Marxsist, socialist and... Darwin atheists who are changing this country."

You know, what "the founders had in mind" was a human-rights abusing nation with institutional racism in the form of actual slavery. I'm not sure what the founders had in mind is the best thing for blacks to pine for. But again, history and fact have no place within 100 yards of Glenn Beck -- I think he took out a restraining order on reality.

You've got to wonder, though; does this mean that Barack Obama's no longer a guy "who has a deep-seated hatred for white people or the white culture?" Because this blowhard punditry would seem to contradict your other blowhard punditry, Glenn.

I guess this just goes to show that there's plenty of crazy to go around. Glenn Beck only seems to have the market cornered. (Raw Story, with video)

-Quote of the day-
"This cannot pass. What we have to do today is make a covenant, to slit our wrists, be blood brothers on this thing. This will not pass. We will do whatever it takes to make sure this doesn't pass."
-Rep. Michele Bachmann on healthcare reform.

Oh, it get's better. Steve Benen puts the comment in context:

After talking up the slitting conservatives' wrists, Bachmann said reform has the capacity to "destroy this country forever," because reform proposals are "nothing more than slavery."

She added, "Something is way crazy out there."

You'd be the expert on that, Shelly. Still, this sounds like the best idea anyone ever had in the history of people having ideas.

Just put down a dropcloth first. (Political Animal)

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