News Roundup for 9/17/09

Choo! Choo! Here comes godless communism!

-Headline of the day-
"GOP Rep Who Suggested D.C. Metro Hurt 9/12 Turnout Voted Against Metro Funding."

I've already written about this once today, but it's gotten better since then.

To recap, GOP Rep. Kevin Brady is mad because DC Metro didn't run extra subway trains for the big 9/12 "we hate Obama/big-gummint/socialism!" rally. In other words, he's all pissed off that government didn't use taxpayer dollars to expand government services -- so wingnuts could go to the national mall and protest using taxpayer dollars to expand government services. Yeah, it's like that. Typical GOP hypocrisy.

Now it turns out that Brady voted against funding those same subways because it's socialism or something. See, that's the way it starts; first you beef up the subway trains in the nation's capital and then you round everyone up and send them to camps. Ask Hitler.

Of course, it makes you wonder if Brady has any idea of how this whole "mass transit" thing works. Maybe he believes it runs on unicorn farts and the pure thoughts of little children. I don't know the man, so I don't want to speak for him.

One thing is clear, though; public ownership of an industry is socialism and bad. Mass transit is public ownership of an industry, so it's socialism (No, really. Look it up). As socialism, it's evil... That is, until a bunch of frootloops want to use it to protest socialism.

Then you need more, more, more. (Plum Line)


-Cartoon time with Mark Fiore-
Hey kids, do you know what this week is? It's the Crashiversary -- yay!


Click for animation

Good times, good times... And look how far we've come! (MarkFiore.com)


-Bonus HotD-
"Teen birth rates highest in most religious states."

Yeah, there's a shock. You don't actually have to read the story to find out why, since the subheader reads, "Link may be due to communities frowning on contraception, researchers say." Yeah, maybe. Or it could be an epidemic of immaculate conception.

This isn't the first time a study has come out with the same findings. Turns out the kids most likely to ask, "What's a condom?" are also the most likely to get pregnant. It's totally unpredictable and no one has any idea what to do about it. It's a social stumper.

Expect religious leaders to address this problem with a call to prayer -- because that worked so well the last ten times... (LiveScience)