News Roundup for 8/4/10

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Where Ben Quayle's family comes from

-Headline of the day-
"Quayle mailers not actually what meets the eye."

Former vice president Dan Quayle has a kid, Ben. Ben Quayle, however, has no kids. Which makes this campaign mailer in his run for Arizona's 3rd Congressional District Republican primary kind of a headscratcher:

Quayle with two little girls

According to the report, "Quayle is depicted in playful scenes with two toddler-aged girls. Underneath one image, the text reads, in part: 'Tiffany and I live in this district and we are going to raise our family here.'" And an anti-abortion-themed mailer "contains the same image of the girls."

"We are presenting Ben as a pro-family candidate because he is a pro-family candidate," says Quayle spokesman Damon Moley. "We are presenting him as a traditional-values candidate because he is a traditional values candidate." You're also presenting him as being pro-family-he-doesn't-actually-have. So there's that.

But Damon dismisses this complaint. "I think you guys have got a lot of time on your hands," says Moley. "They re just terribly cute kids." Yes, terribly cute kids that Quayle doesn't actually have! Seriously Damon, have you been drinking? Because it seems like a very obvious point is being lost on you.

Moley explained that the kids were relatives of Ben's, so technically they're family -- just not the family he and Tiffany plan to raise in the district. At least, I hope not. If those are his plans, there's an Amber Alert in his future -- which wouldn't be the smartest move for a budding GOPer.

But this is Ben Quayle we're talking about here. Smarts don't exactly run in his real family. (Arizona Capital Times)

-Cartoon time with Mark Fiore-
Hey kids, you ever wonder what would happen if Andy Breitbart took a look through history? Yeah, me neither. But Uncle Mark did -- and he made a special cartoon to show us what it would look like! Yay!

Click for animation

oh no, that guy from the penny is racist and gay! Eeeeeeeeek! (MarkFiore.com)

-Bonus HotD-
"CO Tea Party candidate: Bike-sharing is a 'well-disguised' effort to turn Denver into a 'United Nations community.'"

Ha! And people say teabaggers are paranoid freaks... (Think Progress)

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