News Roundup for 2/12/10

Bill Clinton
Doing fine, despite Obama's attempt to kill him

-Headline of the day-
"Fox Politicizes Clinton's Heart Surgery, Suggests He Wouldn’t Have Received Treatment Under Health Reform."

Of course they did. And, of course, it was the show that's such amazing bullshit that you wish there was a stronger word for bullshit that did it. FOX and Friends co-host and Aryan Superman Brian Kilmeade asked Peter J. Johnson Jr. if Bill Clinton would've gotten care for his heart condition had healthcare reform already gone through. Johnson, being FOX's in-house healthcare reform expert, said that Obamacare would've killed Big Dawg dead.

"If the government decides to adopt the Peter Orszag, budget director, architect of health care, method and put in regulations that say there is a gold standard, there is a best practice based on the literature, perhaps hundreds of thousands of people like the president, I’m not going to make a determination... if the new standard is save money, best practices, does President Clinton or you or I who needs it get the stent under the new regimen of health care effectiveness?" Johnson said or asked or something, in what many would argue was English.

Translated, the answer seems to be that government-run health insurance wouldn't pay for experimental procedures -- which is kind of a problem with private insurers right now. And stents aren't exactly "experimental" -- former VP Dick Cheney is practically made out of them by now.

But really, all you have to do is look at all the other countries that have a healthcare system and ask, "Do they live longer or shorter than we do?" The answer; longer.

The United States doesn't exist in a vacuum -- as much as FOX News, Republicans, and Blue Dogs like to pretend we do. (Think Progress, with video)

-Happy Darwin Day-
On February 12, 1809, a young British boy was born who would later grow up to hatch a plot to kill Jesus and destroy all religion forever. It hasn't happened yet, but that doesn't mean we godless liberal commies aren't working on it. One way to advance our bloodthirsty plot for world domination through deicide is to celebrate Darwin Day.

So break out your Darwin Day tree and your Darwin Day cake and hide Darwin Day eggs behind the couch. Then get hammered and dance like a monkey to the following tunes:

The Rolling Stones -- Monkey Man
Motorhead -- Line in the Sand (Evolution)
Rush - Natural Science
Bob Dylan -- The Times They are a Changin'
Iron Maiden -- Quest for Fire
Lew Williams -- Gone Ape Man
Steve Miller Band -- Jungle Love
They Might Be Giants -- I Am a Paleontologist
Tracy Chapman -- Change
Black Flag -- Modern Man

Got any others? Go ahead and throw them on too. It's been over 200 years since Darwin was born, but we'll get 'em yet. (Blip.fm)

-Bonus HotD-
"Detroit schools offer class in how to to work at Walmart."

That may just be the saddest headline I have ever read. (Raw Story)

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