Wannabe models go zombie lemming in New York City: Brain is not their favourite food (Too many calories, of course)

(The sad little gits that keep giving…)

World economic melt-down still going like an iceberg in heat…?

Check.

China still doing to Tibet what your young, aspiring sociopath does to his neighbour’s various furry & fluffy pets…?

Check.

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse in general, still running riot like an English stag party in Prague…?

Check.

In other words, we need a bit of uplifting news here; something to take our collective minds of the fact that human nature is as much fun as a Kalashnikov in a party hat – and you know what? I found it!

Now, here’s what I call a seriously funny story:

“A mass stampede broke out yesterday among contestants waiting to audition for “America’s Next Top Model.” Three people were arrested and six others injured as the good-looking crowd turned ugly. Cops don’t know what started the riot which involved an estimated 10,000 eager wannabe models outside a hotel in New York. The panic left the street littered with the contestant’s discarded designer shoes and clothing.”

Ah, the carnage.

The weeping tears in discarded replica Louis Vuitton handbags; the desperate extensions, littering the street, like so many scalps taken from Custer’s 7th Cavalry; the torn-off stiletto heels, cluttering up the gutters like a crop harvest of used syringes; the sad remains of Victoria’s now very much exposed Secret, hanging from the lanterns like come hither cobweb…

The horror, the horror...

Anyway, if you thought “America’s Next Top Model” was the kind of sad show, carried on the foam of some sadistic voyeur’s wet dream, you’re very much mistaken. Back to the article:

“The popular model comp is hosted by supermodel Tyra Banks to battle stereotypes about beauty. At least one would-be contestant in the Manhattan throng said the experience wouldn’t stop her from trying again. “This is my dream, so I’m not going to give up,” local girl Gifty Asika said.” “

Yesss…

Well, the best of luck to local girl Gifty, especially with battling those silly old stereotypes – though it seems like an uphill struggle to me.