If you want to improve your sex life, just dip your dick in a soft boiled egg

Remember those good old days, when smoking was sexy and advertisements suggested that smokers led longer, healthier and far more interesting lives than non-smokers did?

Remember also how eggs were supposed to be good for you? In England, there even was an advertising campaign, based on the slogan, ‘Go to work on an egg.’

Then, some bloody scientists claimed that eating eggs was actually bad for you. Not as bad as cigarettes turned out to be – eggs didn’t exactly give you cancer; not even smoked eggs. They could cause problems though with your cholesterol, which meant that overdoing things with the consumption of eggs could lead to heart attacks, brain aneurisms and more fun stuff.

So, thanks to these scientists and over-anxious governments (who always love a scientific bandwagon) millions of people denied themselves the pleasure of dipping soldiers into soft-boiled eggs over breakfast – making getting up early for work even more miserable than it already was, or needed to be…

… since another bunch of scientists lately discovered that eating eggs was, actually, quite healthy, after all.

Now, I’m a non-smoker but I have to admit I would find it more than a bit funny if, one of these days, one scientist or the other had to confess that smoking did not cause cancer, or asthma, decaying teeth and birth defects but that cigarettes were, indeed, as socially, psychologically and physically beneficial as all those old ads used to claim.

Perhaps, this embarrassed scientist would confess, smoking even gave men bigger and more sustainable erections.

Too far-fetched a scenario, you think?

Perhaps, but so you might have judged these same kinds of claims for the formerly much maligned egg – and see what some Italian scientists now have to say about our ovoid friends…:

“The chemical behind the smell of rotten eggs helps men become aroused, according to research that could lead to new impotence treatments. Small quantities of hydrogen sulphide are released by nerve cells in the penis before intercourse, causing the male sex organ to become erect, Italian scientists have found. The foul-smelling gas is released in larger amounts by decaying eggs and from the exhaust pipes of cars fitted with catalytic converters, but researchers now believe it could be used to create a rival to Viagra.”

(The new national egg ad campaign: “You can’t melt it down in the rain”…?)