News Roundup for 11/13/09

Michael Steele looking surprised
Hey, keep it in your pants, buddy!

-Headline of the day-
"RNC to opt out of abortion coverage."

This is a pretty complex issue, so let's see if I can encapsulate it for you; the Republican National Committee's employee health insurance plan used to cover elective abortion. This was the worst thing ever, because it only encouraged Republican women -- who are notoriously flighty and overly emotional -- to get abortions just for the fun of it. Of course, it also made the Republican Party a big bunch of hypocrites.

Politico got wind of this and published it on the interwebs for all the world to see and, boy howdy, were Republicans ever embarrassed. "Money from our loyal donors should not be used for this purpose," RNC chairman Michael Steele said in a statement. "I don't know why this policy existed in the past, but it will not exist under my administration. Consider this issue settled."

That's it, no more abortion coverage for lady employees of the Republican National Committee. It makes baby Jesus cry.

Of course, this sucks a little bit for said Republican ladies (or ladies covered by Republican men's plans). But what are you going to do? You can't really expect the Republican Party to do a 180 on the issue and get all rational all of a sudden. Besides, when has the GOP ever given a damn about workers anyway?

I guess Republicans better get used to only having sex when they want to have kids. And no wanking it guys, that makes baby Jesus cry too. (Politico)

-Cartoon time with Mark Fiore-
Hey kids, want to learn a different language? Try Tea-Bag, it's super easy!

Learn to speak tea-bag
Click for animation

Remember, Hitler wanted fries too! (MarkFiore.com)

-FOX in a box-
Despite getting busted for it, Sean Hannity continues to use doctored footage on his show.

FOX News admits footage of Obama presidency on Monday's broadcast was '2012' movie trailer
Click for full comic

That crazy nut! He'll never learn... (Bad Reporter)

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