News Roundup for 10/5/09

Rep. Michele "Captain Crazy" Bachmann

-Headline of the day-
"Bachmann's Chief Of Staff Quits."

Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Crazytown) is getting a little rain on her parade. On the eve of her big "let's all hate healthcare" rally in Washington, her Chief of Staff has quit. Why? Insiders say it's because she's such an attention whore that it's embarrassing.

According to the report, "A conservative Republican House member, speaking on the condition of anonymity, suggested that Bachman's views -- and her willingness to state them -- make it hard for her to keep staff."

"When your captain's crazy, it's time to find a new ship," the lawmaker said.

I checked with Guiness and they told me that this is officially the most awesome thing anyone's ever said anonymously. (Talking Points Memo)

-Cartoon time with Mark Fiore-
Hey kids, it's Dogboy and Mr. Dan again! Yay! They're here to explain what we ought to do with that war named Stan!

Time Flies
Click for animation

It's just that simple. (MarkFiore.com)

-Super-duper patriots really know their flag stuff-
A couple of clips from Shelly Bachmann's big "we hate healthcare" rally in Washington today.

First up, Rep. Todd Akin (R-Jesusland) speaks about how important it is to keep "Under God" in the Pledge of Allegiance, because that's what the pilgrims intended when they wrote it. It's sad how, out of this whole group of people, only Todd's able to get the Pledge right -- what with being an expert on it and all.

Akin screws up pledge

Catch that? He left out "indivisible," which only commies say. Republicans (i.e., real Americans) know that the only way to govern is through division, which explains the big "we hate healthcare" rally. What the hell any of this has to do with healthcare reform is anyone's guess.

Then talk radio patriot Mark Levin knocks over a flag and does the right thing -- he impales himself on the pole, rather than live with the dishonor:

Wingnuts knock over flag

Rumor has it that Shelly herself humped a flag in the shadow of the Washington Monument, singing "Yankee Doodle Dandy" while aides waved sparklers.

Be glad no one got a clip of it. Several observers were reportedly stricken blind. (Think Progress)

No comments:

Post a Comment