News Roundup for 5/20/11

Get out your party hats!

-Headline of the day-
"The Rapture Is Not Saturday -- It's Tonight."

End times lunatic Harold Camping predicted the Rapture would come "at exactly 6 p.m. on May 21, 2011." The problem? Time zones; six o'clock where?

According to the report, "The Rapture is at 6 p.m. on May 21, 2011, where ever it's 6 p.m. first, with the 'fantastically big' world-ending event taking place on a time zone by time zone basis." This means that first on the cosmic chopping block is "the International Dateline at 180 Longitude -- roughly the between Pago Pago, American Samoa, and Nuku'alofa, Tonga."

So, what time is it there? As of this writing, Sat. May 21, 2011 9:26:07 -- you can check it here (under Samoa or Tonga). That's 9 am, so we've got a little time yet. After that, "Everyone will be weeping and wailing because they'll know in a few hours it'll come to their city," says Camping.

So if you're planning a big "end of the world" shindig for tomorrow, you can forget it -- knowing what happened in Tonga is really going to spoil the suspense. Make it a "we survived the end of the world" party and dance your heathen ass off. (The Atlantic)


-The Tale of Gingrich-
Appearing on The Colbert Report, John Lithgow gives voice to a florid, overheated press release by Newt Gingrich's campaign:

Pretty good, but I still like this version better. (YouTube)


-Bonus HotD-
"Tea Party Rally Fizzles in South Carolina."

Seriously, it was just sad. (Political Wire)