News Roundup for 3/14/11

Sarah Palin as Garbage Pail Kid
"Boy howdy! Nomination, here I come!"

-Headline of the day-
"Sadly, the primary process might help Sarah Palin."

The "sadly" part of this is interesting, because the person who thinks it's sad is prominent New Hampshire Republican Judd Gregg. It's a whole big, log, complicated thing, but suffice it to say that Gregg argues that primaries might give Palin a close enough second or third place to be able to go to a brokered convention -- i.e., the primaries may not produce a decisive winner. All of this is because the GOP field is so weak that there's no "heir apparent," in his words.

"All this leads one to conclude that the Democratic Party's nomination process of 2008, which was the most extended and competitive contest of recent times, might look like child's play compared to the Republican enterprise of 2012," he writes. "It is plausible that the most likely scenario will be that this could be the first convention since 1952 in which no one really knows who is going to be the nominee going into the hall." In the meantime, an overly competitive GOP primary season would likely be brutal (you know how they love negative campaigning) and, since Sarah doesn't get primaried out right away, it's likely to be even more so. Seriously, she's just an awful person who practices the politics of personal destruction, while wearing a hole in the victim card. If she thought she could get away with literally kneecapping an opponent, she'd do it. And, if she got caught, she'd complain that her opponent's knees unfairly attacked her bat.

So, even if she doesn't come out on top, whoever the nominee is will be beat to shit. And, if it is Palin, then even better -- mostly because she's already beat to shit.

So, argues Gregg, Sarah would be easily and "sadly" whomped by Barack Obama. Try to contain your grief. (The Hill)

-Edited out of the Bible-
The disciples were pranksters.

SMBC comic
I'm pretty sure you could pull the same trick on Sarah Palin. (Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal)

-Bonus HotD-
"Cable News Viewership Declines Double Digits in 2010."

Best news I've seen all day. (Hollywood Reporter)

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