News Roundup for 10/7/09

Gomer Pyle
TX Rep. Louie Gohmert

-Headline of the day-
"Rep. Louie Gohmert: Hate crimes bill will lead to Nazism, legalization of necrophilia, pedophilia, and bestiality."

It'll also cause children to be born with horns, will curdle milk, and will cause crops to whither in the fields... It's witchcraft, I tell ya!

It all started when Democratic House members convened a session of floor speeches urging the president to repeal "don't ask, don't tell." Turns out that this was the worst thing ever. Texican Congresscritter Louie Gohmert called a repeal of DADT a "perverse... social experimentation," causing soldiers to be "held hostage by a sociological attack." It's all bullshit, sure, but once you get a wingnut rolling, you can't get them back into reality for a little while.

So, his raving went a little broad of the beam, finally including the Matthew Shepard hate crimes bill, which is going to destroy America.

"If you're oriented toward animals, bestiality, then, you know, that's not something that can be used, held against you or any bias be held against you for that," Gomer said. "Which means you'd have to strike any laws against bestiality, if you're oriented toward corpses, toward children, you know, there are all kinds of perversions, [...] pedophiles or necrophiliacs or what most would say is perverse sexual orientations but the trouble is, we made amendments to eliminate pedophiles from being included in the definition. [...] But people have always been willing to give up their liberties, their freedoms in order to gain economic stability. It happened in 1920 and 1930's. Germany gave up their liberties to gain economic stability and they got a little guy with a mustache, who was the ultimate hate monger. And this is scary stuff we're doing here when we take away what has traditionally been an important aspect of moral teaching in America."

Again, all horseshit -- and not the least horseshitty is the argument that Germany went all Nazi because Hitler gave more rights to gay people. Seriously, someone want to get Gomer here a history book?

Check to see if he can actually read first, though. (Think Progress)

-More fun with Republican dumbassery-
Last week, House minority leader John Boehner told reporters that no one wants a public health insurance option. Absolutely and literally no one. "I'm still trying to find the first American to talk to who's in favor of the public option, other than a member of Congress or the administration... I've not talked to one, and I get to a lot of places and I've not had anyone come up to me -- I know I'm inviting it -- and lobby for the public option."

Turns out that Rep. Boehner needs to get out more. Polls show that most support a public option, suggesting that Boehner's interaction with the people is a little Bush-like in it's bubbliness.

Anway, according to the report, "some of Mr. Boehner's constituents decided to take him up on his offer and rally outside his district office in West Chester, Ohio, delivering over 1,800 signatures of people in his district who support a public option."

Still, Boehner's not a liar, he's just an idiot. He didn't meet with these people. So he can still say he hasn't met anyone who supports the public option.

And he'll be able to keep saying it until he stops hiding from them. (Public Record, with video)

-Best four opening paragraphs in a news story ever-
From a Boston Globe article on little-known candidates for Ted Kennedy's Senate seat:

Adam Azia wants to be your next United States senator.

Perhaps you have never heard of him. You have almost certainly never seen his television show, aired on Somerville cable access, during which he wears a white brassiere filled with oranges, grapefruit, and other fruit.

If such antics disqualify him, to some voters, for service in the hallowed halls of the US Senate, Azia, a 36-year-old ad salesman from Arlington, does not seem to mind.

"If you don't want to vote for me because I was wearing a bra with fruit," he said, "go ahead."

Duly noted. (Boston Globe, via Fark)

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