News Roundup for 10/1/09

It's not like it's a major American city or anything...

-Headline of the day-
"Question: Why Don’t Conservatives Want The US To Get The Olympics?"

When Barack Obama went to Copenhagen to make the case for a Chicago Olympics, the right went nuts. Obama's from Chicago (among other places), so that means that the president was trying to get the Olympics for his home town. This is the worst thing ever.

According to the report, "House Minority Leader John Boehner torched President Barack Obama Wednesday for his European trip to pitch the Chicago Olympics bid, criticizing the president for 'going to go off to Copenhagen when we’ve got serious issues here at home that need to be debated.'" Like Boehner's interested in debating anything.

Are they under the impression that Chicago isn't in the United States? It's like free stimulus money. For about a month, the Windy City would be the de facto capital of the world. Seriously, you think we don't need that kind of scratch around here? Hell, I plan on making about fifty million just by letting people park on my lawn while they take buses down there.

Now, I'll admit that if George W. Bush had gone on a trip to push his hometown's Olympic dreams, I'd be a little suspicious -- mostly because Crawford, Texas is about the size of a Chicago bus stop. Seriously, you'd have to be an idiot not to think there was something hinky about that.

But we're talking about freakin' Chicago, not the capital of haystack country. Who do they want to get it; Tokyo, Rio, Madrid? It'd be helpful if they came out and said what they wanted.

But Boehner's not interested in being helpful, either. (Donklephant)

-Ladies man-
National Review write John Derbyshire has a brand-new book coming out that no one will ever read. I think the title is Shit I Came Up With While I Was Drinking... Something like that, anyway.

One of the things Derbyshire came up with while enjoying surgical alcohol was "The Case Against Female Suffrage" -- so that's one of the chapters in his book. That's right, he's against ladies voting. See, women are "nurturing," so they vote for crazy shit like not letting people starve and die in the streets -- which makes them commies. And he went on Alan Colmes radio show to defend that position.

DERBYSHIRE: Among the hopes that I do not realistically nurse is the hope that female suffrage will be repealed. But I’ll say this -– if it were to be, I wouldn’t lose a minute's sleep.

COLMES: We'd be a better country if women didn’t vote?

DERBYSHIRE: Probably. Don't you think so?

COLMES: No, I do not think so whatsoever.

DERBYSHIRE: Come on Alan. Come clean here [laughing].

COLMES: We would be a better country? John Derbyshire making the statement, we would be a better country if women did not vote.

DERBYSHIRE: Yeah, probably. Well we got along like that for what, 130 years?

I always say that when conservatives say they want change, it means they want to change things back. Who knew they wanted to go this far back? You wonder if Derbyshire didn't just arrive in a time machine from 1910, don't you? On thing's for sure, once this book is out, he's never getting laid again. (Wonkette)

-And furthermore...-
You remember Democratic Representative of Florida and hero to the children Alan Grayson, right? He's the guy who said that the GOP healthcare plan was "die quickly." This was of course, the worst thing that ever happened since Barack Obama went to Copenhagen. Republicans climbed over each other demanding that Grayson resign -- including many who'd previously backed Sarah Palin's "death panel" bullshit.

Well, you know how it goes. Some politician says something that makes them a hero to the base, then disappoints everyone by apologizing. It's just the way Washington works. And Alan Grayson is no different. He bent under the pressure and apologized.

"I would like to apologize. I would like to apologize to the dead..." he said. "I apologize to the dead and their families that we haven't voted [on healthcare reform] sooner."

What a let-down... (Think Progress)

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