News Roundup for 7/3/09

Palin to retire to spend more time with daughters Asphalt, Bungie, and Omelette

-Headline of the day-
"Palin announces resignation."

And thank whatever wingnut god she prays to. July 3 is a freakin' desert for news and this third is even worse. If you don't give a damn about whatever happened Michael Jackson's monkey, you're outta luck.

So Caribou Barbie did the right thing here -- at least, as far as a starving blogosphere is concerned.

According to the report, "Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin announced Friday that she was resigning her office later this month, a stunning decision that could free her to run for president more easily but also raises questions about her political standing at home."

Frankly, I don't see that she resigned to run for president, mostly because it's 2009. There's getting a head start and then there's getting a head start. More likely, she's finally decided she can't take the heat, so she's vacating the kitchen -- Anchorage Daily News reports that the cost of ethics charges against her "had reached almost $300,000, much of that sum owing to the so-called 'Troopergate' probe of Palin." It may also be that so many ethics investigations will eventually turn up some dirt, so she's getting while the getting's good.

Still, I like to think -- with absolutely no evidence at all -- that she's quitting to co-host Glenn Beck's TV Snakepit on FOX News, where she'll wrap Beck in a wet blanket to calm him down when he gets too excited. She does have broadcast experience, after all.

But, hey, let's face it; the smart money's on dawning scandal. White slavery? Gun running? A meth lab in the basement of the governor's mansion? Moose breeding without a permit? Steroid abuse?

Place your bets... (Politico)


-Speaking of crazy Republican ladies...-
...the Democratic Governor's Association is practicing good politics by launching DraftBachmann.com. See, they want batshit-crazy Rep. Michele Bachmann to run for Governor of Minnesota, since she's completely insane and would never win in a million years.

The only real problem I'm seeing is in the sell-job. They aren't making the best case for her candidacy. If you go to the website, you can send these ecards to your friends for the 4th of July. The quotes are real, which is the problem:



And my favorite:



An admirable goal. We all need something to shoot for.

Another (which didn't shrink down from 500X500 very well), has Shelly showing off her brainy science-gal side; "Where do we say that a cell became a blade of grass, which became a starfish, which became a donkey, which became a human being? There's a real lack of evidence from change from actual species to a different type of species. That's where it's difficult to prove."

Yes Michele, where do we say that people evolved from grass, starfish, and donkeys? Because I missed that one...

There are six total, collect them all and impress your friends. (DraftBachmann.com)


-Another reason Palin might be quitting-
Because the National Review's Jonah Goldberg was mean to her today. And he's a big fan.

In an extremely poorly-timed column, Jonah yells at her and tells her she's "blowing it." At issue are stories coming out from former McCain staffers that Gov. Moose-O-Lini was a lazy dimwit on the campaign trail. Seems Sarah wasn't doing enough to dispell that already widely-held assessment.

"So here’s my advice," Goldberg writes, in the form of an open letter. "Stay home and do your job and your homework. You’ll still be a national figure come the primaries."

Don't look now Jonah, but I don't think she took that advice. (National Review)