News Roundup for 7/16/09

Government-run health care, according to the GOP

-Headline of the day-
"Right-Wing Escalates Fear-Mongering Rhetoric: Warns Americans Will Die If Health Care Reform Passes."

That's right, if President Obama's commie health care goes through, doctors will be given licenses to hunt you. Or something like that.

In an interview with the Washington Times, Sen. Tom Coburn was asked if government-run health care would "end up killing more people than it saves?"

"Absolutely," he answered. Others have been more specific, offering a statistic that seems to have passed the rigorous fact-checking it takes to pull something straight out of your ass.

"One in five people have to die because [their country] went to socialized medicine!" says Texican Rep. Louie Gohmert. "I would hate to think that among five women, one of 'em is gonna die because we go to socialized care." One in five patients die in nations with government-run health plans? Wow, you'd think people with commie medicine might be a little freaked out about that -- you know, riots in the streets, that sort of thing. But they seem pretty happy.

Fools! Can't they see they're dying?

"They're going to save money by rationing care, getting you in a long line," says crazier-than-Michele-Bachmann Rep. Steve King. "Places like Canada, United Kingdom, and Europe. People die when they're in line." Sure, you have to wait for care here too, but not in lines! We've got waiting rooms. It's the lines that'll get ya.

So, if Democrats have their way, you will die. Guaranteed. In fact, nations with commie health care have a 100% mortality rate; every child born in a state with commie health care dies eventually. Sure, on average it's about 70 or 80 years after they're born, but still... Every. Single. One.

Won't someone think of the children? (Think Progress, with video)

-Cartoon time with Mark Fiore-
Key kids, want the secrets on how to make a gazillion dollars? Just heed the message from...

Goldman Sachs to Jobless Jack!
Click for animation

Can't make up your mind whether to laugh or cry? Join the club. (MarkFiore.com)

-[Obvious] Quote of the day-
"Joe the Plumber -- you can quote me -- is a dumbass. He should stick to plumbing."
-Meghan McCain, daughter of Sen. John McCain (who used Samuel "Joe the Plumber" Wurzelhoopy as a campaign prop).

Meghan's not saying anything that most people don't already know, but she said we could quote her, so I did. (Political Wire)

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