Lesson 133 ~Retaining Reinvention~

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Lesson 133 ~Retaining Reinvention~

Hey Lady Lu…
How many times a day do I think “who am I” the answer is does it even matter anymore; I exist and still it returns to “Who You Are” What about the “Man In the Mirror” it’s not as if I haven’t wanted to change and yet I return to the limbo of being and becoming… nothing.

I suppose it might help to know how I got to this point and all I can tell you is it starts with The Abomination; as much as I hate to give that thing any credit he went “Inception” on my ass and I can’t shake the idea. What about who I want to be… Luna you don’t know how badly I wish I could see the monster because the monster has to be better than this; famous or infamous like I told you before it doesn’t really matter. The last few days however still show me for what I am, scared, pathetic, and weak; simply the thought of using the phone…

I think I told you before about this time I was in high school; for maybe a span of five minutes I was free, a normal everyday high school senior… why couldn’t I stay that way? What about when I was at work and those bitches were talking about me and I just wanted to hate the damn world and everyone in it and yet I walk around with a plastered smile and I took this test the on The Walking Dead the other day and it said I was Rick huh, my world is full of “Space Junk”. Finally there’s the Local Author’s Expo coming up and I have no books, no supplies, and nothing else; should I even bother going; I am such a “Loser” Luna.

So what have I learned today… maybe that I wish I couldn’t remember and to quit “Waiting On The World To Change” because it never will for me “Everyday Is Exactly The Same” For a final thought why do I want to remember, shouldn’t the goal be to forget, all of this Retaining Reinvention.


~Retaining Reinvention~

Memories of boos
And shoos
Yet I’m staying
For want of saying
Fuck you
Of course you knew
No need explaining

Like I could mention
Who I am
Don’t understand
My reinvention
If only I could see
Who I want to be

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

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