Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Lesson 133 ~Retaining Reinvention~
Hey Lady Lu…
How many times a day do I think “who am I” the answer is does it even matter anymore; I exist and still it returns to “Who You Are” What about the “Man In the Mirror” it’s not as if I haven’t wanted to change and yet I return to the limbo of being and becoming… nothing.
I suppose it might help to know how I got to this point and all I can tell you is it starts with The Abomination; as much as I hate to give that thing any credit he went “Inception” on my ass and I can’t shake the idea. What about who I want to be… Luna you don’t know how badly I wish I could see the monster because the monster has to be better than this; famous or infamous like I told you before it doesn’t really matter. The last few days however still show me for what I am, scared, pathetic, and weak; simply the thought of using the phone…
I think I told you before about this time I was in high school; for maybe a span of five minutes I was free, a normal everyday high school senior… why couldn’t I stay that way? What about when I was at work and those bitches were talking about me and I just wanted to hate the damn world and everyone in it and yet I walk around with a plastered smile and I took this test the on The Walking Dead the other day and it said I was Rick huh, my world is full of “Space Junk”. Finally there’s the Local Author’s Expo coming up and I have no books, no supplies, and nothing else; should I even bother going; I am such a “Loser” Luna.
So what have I learned today… maybe that I wish I couldn’t remember and to quit “Waiting On The World To Change” because it never will for me “Everyday Is Exactly The Same” For a final thought why do I want to remember, shouldn’t the goal be to forget, all of this Retaining Reinvention.
Memories of boos
Yet I’m staying
For want of saying
Of course you knew
No need explaining
Like I could mention
Who I am
If only I could see
Who I want to be
Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.