News Roundup for 6/7/11

Stuff is too complicated!

-Headline of the day-
"EXCLUSIVE: Herman Cain Pledges Not To Sign Any Bill Longer Than Three Pages."

At an appearance in Iowa, The Hermanator gave his take on the big ol' honkin' laws congress insists on passing and that presidents have a habit of signing. "Engage the people," he told the crowd. "Don't try to pass a 2,700 page bill -- and even they didn't read it! You and I didn't have time to read it. We're too busy trying to live -- send our kids to school. That's why I am only going to allow small bills -- three pages. You’ll have time to read that one over the dinner table. What does Herman Cain, President Cain talking about in this particular bill?"

A couple of points here; first off, President Cain wouldn't say jack in a bill -- congress writes them. That's in the Constitution and everything.

Second; super-complicated issues need super-complicated bills. That's just reality. You could pass the leanest federal budget in American history on three pages, but you'd need an electron microscope to read it.

"The vast majority of substantive bills passed by Congress are longer than three pages," the report tells us. "Under this bright-line rule, Cain wouldn't have signed such landmark pieces of legislation as the Civil Rights Act, the Social Security Act, or the PATRIOT Act. In fact, he wouldn't have even been able to sign the Bush tax cuts of 2001 and 2003, which ran 114 and 18 pages, respectively."

This is like saying that computers don't work because the mechanics and electronics are too complicated for most people to understand. In Cain's world, you'd be reading this on an abacus right now. (ThinkProgress, with video)

-Listen my children and you shall hear...-
...Sarah Palin butcher the story of Paul Revere.

I'm saddened that there wasn't a joke about "every middlesex village and farm." Seriously, kids have been giggling over that one for years. (Comedy Central)

-Bonus HotD-
"Party of David Vitter & Larry Craig & Newt Gingrich Tells Anthony Weiner To Resign."

Kind of speaks for itself, doesn't it? (Wonkette)

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