News Roundup for 6/2/11

Casus belli

-Headline of the day-
"'Sovereign Citizen' Opens Fire On Store Because It Ran Out Of Crawfish."

'Sovereign citizens' are crazy people -- generally gun nuts and militia types. More specifically, they belong to some sort of legal cult that maintains that government has no legal right to... well... govern. Further, they believe that everyone is their own damned country and that this whole crazy-assed idea will hold up in court -- which it doesn't.

Anyway, the nation of Larry Wayne Kelly went to war with the nation of the L&T Seafood Market -- using the Powell Doctrine of overwhelming force -- when said seafood market turned out to be out of crawfish. According to the report, Kelly called the market to order some crawdads "and became 'incredibly irate' when an employee said the store didn't have any." He kept calling and they kept being out and this was just the worst thing ever. "Employees found 11 bullet holes in the front of the store the next morning."

So the cops went after Kelly, who tried to hit them with his car, and finally busted him. "Kelly told law enforcement that he is a sovereign citizen..." the report goes on, "and that he doesn't have to follow the law."

Police informed him that he was mistaken.

"If you don't have crawfish, you can get crab or something else," store owner Tommy Nguyen said. "Why is crawfish so important?"

You'd have to ask the nation of Larry Wayne Kelly that -- and his embassy seems to be closed. (Talking Points Memo)

-Cartoon time with Mark Fiore-
Hey kids, meet Snuggly the Security Bear. He's here to talk to us about the PATRIOT Act and robots! Yay!

Snuggly the Security Bear
Click for animation

OK, so where do I get my hands on some anti-matter? (MarkFiore.com)

-Bonus HotD-
"Ohio GOP House Speaker's Twitter account hacked."

Don't get too excited, no weiner photos were tweeted. (Raw Story)

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