News Roundup for 5/26/10

Melted PCs
GOP's servers

-Headline of the day-
"Republicans' new Web site not exactly what they hoped it would be."

Yesterday, we had a little chat about how dumb the GOP's new AmericaSpeakingOut.com website was. Just to refresh, the GOP wants you to come up with ideas -- preferably ones the GOP has already come up with -- and they'll use those ideas to save the world... If they like them, mind you. No raising taxes or having abortions or listening to the president. Those ideas are most definitely not politically correct. Oh, and you get to pay for the whole thing with your tax dollars. So there's that.

"Republicans want to take over the House in the fall, but there's a problem," writes WaPo columnist Dana Milbank, "They don't have an agenda." Ok, so that's the short version.

Anyhoo, Republicans got the whole thing up, using what Rep. Kevin McCarthy says is "a Microsoft program that helped NASA map the moon." They should've used an actual webserver app, because this moon map thing sucks. Last night, people were getting errors written in Robotese. But they fixed that and now you get your error messages in plain old Republicant.

I guess some people managed to get the thing to actually work though. The result is a mix of typical Republican wingnuttery and typical internetic trollery. Consider these helpful suggestions to save America:

-End Child Labor Laws. We coddle children too much. They need to spend their youth in the factories.

-How about if Congress actually do thier job and VET or Usurper in Chief, Obama is NOT a Natural Born Citizen in any way. That fake so called birth certificate is useless.

-A 'teacher' told my child in class that dolphins were mammals and not fish! And the same thing about whales! We need TRADITIONAL VALUES in all areas of education. If it swims in the water, it is a FISH. Period! End of Story.

-Legalize Marijuana, cause, like, alcohol is legal. Man. Also.

-Don't let the illegals run out of Arizona and hide. . . . I think that we should do something to identify them in case they try to come back over. Like maybe tattoo a big scarlet 'I' on their chests -- for 'illegal'!!!

Not surprisingly, Hitler makes an appearance -- as an adjective.

I finally got it to work, then suggested that teachers who teach anything other than abstinence-only should be put to death. It was fairly popular. When I checked back, it had like 18 or 20 votes (I can't find it now, because they seem to have cleared everything and started over).

But I can't compete with one Milbank found.

"Republicans might want to take a hard look at the suggestion that 'we need to reframe the discussion' about the BP oil spill to counteract the 'environmental whackos' worried about wildlife," he reports. "Republicans, this person proposed, should argue that 'BP is creating a new race of faster dolphins. These fish are unable to compete against the fish of other countries, but now their increased lubrication will allow them to fly through the water. Faster fish = good.'"

America, we are saved. (Washington Post)

-Cartoon time with Mark Fiore-
Hey kids, here's a special message from the good folks at BP! Yay!

Click for animation

Remember kids, all that oil pumping out into the gulf? That's your fault. Now you just march up to your room and think about what you've done. (MarkFiore.com)

-Bonus HotD-
"FoxNews.com edits out applause during Obama's West Point speech."

A spokesperson for FOX says that the video was posted before they were done editing it -- they hadn't dubbed in all the booing yet. (Think Progress)

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