News Roundup for 5/18/10

Tracy Jackson
What being a congressman will get you

-Headline of the day-
"Rep. Souder And Mistress Recorded Video Praising Abstinence."

The latest example of Republican family values comes to us from Rep. Mark Souder, who has announced he's resigning from office after revelations that he'd been sleeping with a staffer. This makes what would ordinarily be an infuriatingly wrong video discussion about abstinence-only education a little easier to take. Still, you don't have to watch the whole thing, just enough to get the scent of hypocrisy.

That pasty-looking chunk of cornfed Indiana man-meat is Rep. Souder. And the nice lady who would normally be out of his league if he weren't a congresscritter is the sex toy in question, Tracy Jackson. I know, it's not a pretty image (or, rather, it's half of a pretty image), but funny and pleasant aren't always synonymous -- fart jokes, for example.

What I especially love is Souder ridiculing people who think abstinence is unrealistic while his secret playtoy does the bobblehead. Haha! You think people can't control their sex drives? I, Rep. Mark Souder, laugh at you! Foolish libtards!

Now blow me, bitch. (Talking Points Memo)

-Why, that's not sexy at all!-
Facebook users may be getting a message from people they know telling them to watch the "sexiest video ever." Surprisingly, it's not. It's malware. According to the report, clicking the link "does not play the video but takes users to a page telling them they do not have the correct software installed... It then tricks users into installing adware, a software package that automatically plays, displays or downloads advertisements to their computer." It also sends the same message to all your Facebook contacts.

So no, you're mom isn't sending you links to porn. You can stop worrying about that.

People who have been hoodwinked are advised to "scan their computers with anti-virus software, change their passwords, review their Facebook application settings and remove whatever was installed." If that doesn't work, then you have to throw your 'puter into a volcano, for the good of mankind.

Hey, it could be worse. There really could be a video and it could be Souder's and Jackson's sex tape. Then you'd have to throw your eyes into a volcano. (Agence France-Presse)

-Bonus HotD-
"After Serving More Than 30 Years In The Senate, Hatch Says 'Hell No' He's Not 'Part Of Washington.'"

If you ever need a definition of the term "horse's ass," go ahead and use this. (Think Progress)

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