News Roundup for 12/1/09

Shopping mall
The Gateway (TO HELL!) Mall

-Headline of the day-
"New Website Helps You Avoid Jew Stores."

That's right, it's December, which means the annual War on Christmas is upon us! I advise cowering in your basement until -- say -- July, when this will either have all blown over or we've all been turned into Muslim terr'ists or something.

However, if you want to be one of the few brave souls to expose yourself to the heathens at the mall, you might want to check out Focus on the Family's StandForChristmas.com website thing. There you'll find out which stores hate America and want to make baby Jesus cry by saying "Happy Holidays," instead of "Merry Christmas." (Happy Holidays" is code for "Yay for the Homosexual Menace jihad! Oodle-oodle-oodle-oodle!")

Helpful hints include:

Me and my family shop at Dadeland Macys in Miami Florida.The Salespersons are very friendly and Christmas Focus.I am a very Aggressive and Bold person for CHRIST any store that i spend my money in they better tell me Merry Christmas or a VOID will be following in seconds.

Just bought an ipod from Best Buy, but then learned of their anti-Christmas/pro -Eid al Adha actions. I so regret having purchased from them. Best Buy, give glory to the one who has allowed and attributed to your success…Jesus Christ, not Mohammed!

Shopping CHRISTmas friendly stores is very important to me. I do not believe that CHRISTmas advertising should begin until after Thanksgiving. The day to celebrate the birth of Jesus has become far more too materialistic, and seems to become that way more each. year. Loacally the CHRISTmas decorations, songs, etc. began before holloween. Absurd and disgusting. Thank God for Focus on the Family and all you do. God Bless each and everyone at Focus. Myrna

So, if you start celebrating Christmas... Oh, sorry... CHRISTmas too early, it means you hate CHRISTmas. Also, if you acknowledge the existence of any other religion's holidays, it means you hate CHRISTmas. And if a very Aggressive and Bold person for CHRIST decides you hate CHRISTmas, then it means you hate CHRISTmas...

You know what? I think I hate CHRISTmas. A lot. It's stupid.

Bring back regular, not-insane Christmas. (Wonkette)

-Actually, that sounds about right-
For once, Bad Reporter's not far off the mark:

Man (Bush) was awake during 23 year coma, doctors say
Click for full comic

Really, it explains a lot. (Bad Reporter)

-Bonus HotD-
"Warren Complains That Nobody Cares About Christians."

Twitter is quickly becoming the favorite medium for right wing morons to say stupid things on. If you need evidence, consider this bit of tweetlepation Pastor Rick Warren; "Globally last yr 146,000 Christians were put to death because of their faith. No one, except Christians, said anything."

The problem? Well, plenty of people speak out against the execution of the innocent, whether they're Christian or not. So there's that. But the bigger problem seems to be that Pastor Rick's pulled that number out of his ass. No one can seem to find that figure anywhere.

Maybe "146,000" is bible-talk for "a lot," in the same way that "40 days and 40 nights" is bible-talk for "a real long time."

I wouldn't know about that kind of thing, because I hate CHRISTmas. (Right Wing Watch)

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