News Roundup for 2/27/09

Dean Grose entertains friends at an office party

-Headline of the day-
"Mayor To Resign After Watermelon Email Outrage."

Remember Los Alamitos, California Mayor Dean Grose? You know, the one who's a comedic genius...

Yeah, he's not going to the the Mayor of Los Alamitos for much longer. Turns out his edgy email attachment humor was way ahead of its time and people didn't get that an image of the White House lawn as a watermelon patch wasn't racist, it was just... Well, never mind. It wasn't racist.

After getting national attention for his small 2 1/4-square-mile city with his laugh-riot of an email, all he got in return for the favor was criticism. So he's outta there -- off like a dirty shirt, saying the controversy has affected his ability to lead the city.

Dang, it's getting so a white guy can't even make a joke using racist stereotypes anymore. Dean didn't even get a chance to break out his coke-bottle glasses and do his Chinese laundry bit. And forget about the sombrero and big fake mustache -- you're never going to see it.

Hope you're happy America. The next time you want to see a hilarious Pakistani convenience store clerk impression, don't come looking for Dean Grose. (CBS2.com)


-Did you know Joe the Plumber's a freakin' moron?-
Oddly enough, it's true. He is. The man whose big claim to fame is that McCain-Palin used him as a prop goes back into history and gets it 100% wrong:

Back in the day, really, when people would talk about our military in a poor way, somebody would shoot ‘em. And there’d be nothing said about that, because they knew it was wrong. You don’t talk about our troops. You support our troops. Especially when our congressmen and senators sit there and say bad things in an ongoing conflict.


When was this that people were shot for talking about our military " in a poor way?" Y'know, I don't think we actually ever did that. That seems kind of -- oh, what's the word? -- oppressive.

I'm pretty sure China did stuff like that, though. In fact, I'm pretty sure they still do. Is Samuel "Joe the Plumber" Wurzelgoober a commie Chinese agent?

I'd say there can be no doubt. Take him out and shoot him -- preferably with some sort of brain-endowing gun. (Think Progress)


-Bonus HotD-
"Porn in the USA: Conservatives are biggest consumers."

Wow, the casual-sex-in-a-bathroom, visit-a-hooker-for-diaper-wearin', dirty-text-message-to-teen-pages-sending crowd are big fans of the porn. What a shock! And they seem so super-moral and all...

According to the report, a new study finds that "states that do consume the most porn tend to be more conservative and religious than states with lower levels of consumption" and "Residents of 27 states that passed laws banning gay marriages boasted 11% more porn subscribers than states that don't explicitly restrict gay marriage."

"One natural hypothesis is something like repression: if you're told you can't have this, then you want it more," says researcher Benjamin Edelman of Harvard Business School. I'd add that while conservatives fantasize, liberals realize.

While there's no info on the type of porn we're talking about here, looking at the difference in numbers, I'd say a lot of it was of the homosexual variety. Besides, the right has been way too obsessed with gay sex. People who are obsessed with gay sex have a tendency to be gay.

It's OK, Red-staters. Go ahead and enjoy your porn.

Just shut the hell up about how deviant everyone else is, OK? It's a little hypocritical. (New Scientist, via reddit)