Gaza is for lovers: Flower Power on Valentine’s Day

I’m not a big fan of official holidays. Take Christmas: The day that our Lord, Jesus Christ, was doing His thing in that manger. Nothing wrong with that, per se, safe for the fact that the whole month before that Holy Day is one protracted, mad lemming like retail frenzy, compared to which the shoe buying antics of Imelda Marcos was a triumph of austerity shopping.

Same with Easter, the Resurrection of Christ. Again, nothing wrong with honouring the come-back of a God you nailed to a tree just three days earlier but what’s with those bloody chocolate eggs?

In other words, we mark the birth of our Saviour by chasing a fat, bearded git in a red & white suit down the chimney and commemorate His death with a frigging egg laying bunny…

No wonder really that He’s not in any hurry with that Second Coming.

Of course, it’s not just religious holidays that can be bothersome, baffling and borderline bonkers. The secular ones have their wildly irritating moments too.

Take the one we’ve just brushed off, like a bad case of dandruff - yes, Valentine’s Day. That love fest that would turn the likes of James Bond and Jessica Rabbit into dedicated celibates.

I mean, what’s with those anonymous cards and flowers? That makes as much sense as tits on a shark. “Hello, I just wanted to say I love you but I’m too craven to do so in person and I’m not telling you my name either.” Yes, that will really wow & woo her…

Yet, it’s even worse when it’s celebrated by established couples. Husbands buying flowers for their wives, which leaves the latter thinking, “And where were you the other 364 days, when I needed a bit of romance, you arsehole?” Or those pathetic clowns who propose to their girlfriends in public places like restaurants (which makes you hope that the cook can do better than simply piss in these guys’ soup.)

All in all, Valentine’s Day is to love and romance what the above-mentioned (titless) shark is to the whole idea of oral sex.

So, it is with some reluctance that I now present the following news story, which, rather unexpectedly, shows that even a wretched day like Valentine’s can be good news for some, at least:

“KEREM SHALOM, Israel (AP) — Israel is relaxing its blockade of the Gaza Strip to let through 25,000 carnations headed to Europe for Valentine’s Day. But the head of the Gaza flower growers’ association said that was “nothing” compared to the 40 million flowers a year that came out of the territory before the blockade. The flowers will be Gaza’s first exports in a year. Israel has blockaded Gaza since Hamas militants seized control of the territory in June 2007. Israeli military spokesman Maj. Peter Lerner said Israel agreed to let the flowers through at the request of the Dutch government and Gaza farmers”.

Mind you, I’m surprised carnation making is that big in Gaza. With their history, you’d expect there would be more money in wreaths…