News Roundup for 9/30/11

Girl with hula hoop
One of the many once-new things that have failed to go away

-Headline of the Day-
"Newt Gingrich: Marriage Equality 'Is A Temporary Aberration That Will Dissipate.'"

Newt Gingrich's strategy for staying relevant to the 2012 Republican Primary seems to involve saying increasingly stupid things. Of course, if that worked we'd still be talking about Michele Bachmann.

Anyway, Newt's breaking new ground in ways to protect marriage from the Homosexual Menace -- ignore gay marriage and it'll go away.

"I believe that marriage is between a man and woman," Gingrich said in Iowa today. "It has been for all of recorded history and I think this is a temporary aberration that will dissipate. I think that it is just fundamentally goes against everything we know."

The problem here is that you can apply this reasoning to a whole bunch of stuff that hasn't gone away -- butt floss swimsuits, hula hoops, and democracy are a few that leap immediately to mind.

"Given his own marital history," the report opines, "Gingrich's belief in the solvent nature of same-sex marriage is mildly amusing."

Wait, "mildly amusing?" It'e freakin' hilarious. (ThinkProgress)

-Cartoon time with Mark Fiore-
Hey kids, you know how we used to turn to FEMA in a natinal emergency? Well, that's all changed! Now we turn to...

Click for animation

I'll bet we could blow people up in another country without too much bother, though. (MarkFiore.com)

-Bonus HotD-
"Huckabee looks again at Republican presidential bid."

Long story short, a group of "Republican and conservative activists" are saying, "Anyone but this bunch of clowns who are already running!" (Reuters)

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