News Roundup for 9/22/11

Mitt Romney

-Headline of the Day-
"Hundred Millionaire Mitt Romney Tells Crowd He, Too, Is Middle Class."

Mittens Romney knows a thing or two about class warfare -- mostly because he's made most of his money waging it.

But that's not what's important now. What's important is that you know he's just your average middle-class Joe, who happens to have like a gazillion dollars. How does he pull this off? It's math, dummy!

See, at a town hall event, Mittens chewed on a wheat stalk and stuck his thumbs in the bib of his overalls. He told his fellow hayseeds that he favors a tax policy that will help "those who have been hurt by the Obama economy."

Who's that? Mittens helpfully defined it; "And that's the middle class," Romney continued. "It's not those in the low end; it's certainly not those in the very high end. It's for the great middle class -- the 80 to 90 percent of us in this country." So, if you're not the 5 or 10 richest percentile or the 5 or 10 poorest percentile, you're freakin' Ward Cleaver and Fred Flintstone all rolled up into one neat middle class package. The guy who works at the 7-11? Middle class. Fella who works at a factory? Middle class. The rock star in the last video you watched? Most likely just middle class.

So poor Mittens is just like everyone else, just barely squeaking by on his somewhere-in-the-neighborhood-of-a-quarter-billion dollars. He gets into his Learjet one leg at a time, just like everybody else. (Wonkette)


-Cartoon time with Mark Fiore-
Hey kids, have you heard about this whole big Solyndra loan guarantee thing? It's basically where this one solar energy company acted just like the nuclear energy industry and it's the worst thing ever -- I guess because no reactors are involved or something.

Anyway, it proves this whole "green energy" stuff is just a bunch of hooey and we should just stick with what's working for us.


Click for animation

Next thing you know, they'll be saying we can get free energy from the wind! Crazy treehuggers... (MarkFiore.com)


-Bonus HotD-
"McCotter drops out of race for GOP presidential nomination."

Wait, who? (Detroit News)