News Roundup for 1/8/09

Girls Gone Broke!

-Headline of the day-
"Porn industry, citing limp economy, seeks its own US bailout."

Hustler magazine producer Larry Flynt and Joe Francis of the Girls Gone Wild video series are calling on the 111th Congress "to rejuvenate the sexual appetite of America" with a five billion dollar bailout.

"Congress seems willing to help shore up our nation's most important businesses, (and) we feel we deserve the same consideration," Francis said in a statement. "In difficult economic times, Americans turn to entertainment for relief. More and more, the kind of entertainment they turn to is adult entertainment."

I'm pretty positive they aren't going to get it. It seems like a PR stunt, anyway, since the report tells us the two admit "the 13-billion-dollar industry is in no fear of collapse, but why take chances?"

Yeah, it'd really be a shame if we couldn't get videos of college girls too drunk to know any better flashing a camera. That'd just be an awful loss for the nation. (Agence France-Presse)


-The wheels of justice grind slow-
Maybe somebody oughta impeach that Blagojevich guy. That's the recommendation of a special Illinois House panel investigating the scandal surrounding their Governor.

"The citizens of this state must have confidence that their governor will faithfully serve the people and put their interests before his own," the special panel wrote in a report. "It is with profound regret that the committee finds that our current governor has not done so."

Not the best news for Gov. Blago, but he's probably got plenty of time to work out a defense. Dealing with the Illinois legislature's a lot like avoiding being hit by a glacier. They're gonna do something! Just you wait and see! (Chicago Breaking News)


-What's that smell?-
"Joe the Plumber's" fifteen minutes of fame were up a long time ago and now he's getting way past his expiration date. Not content to just shut up and go away, Samuel Wurzelbacher has been hired by the right wing Pajamas TV to be a correspondent to -- get this -- Israel. And no, you didn't just hallucinate that. This is real.

"I get to go over there and let their ‘Average Joes’ share their story, what they think, how they feel, especially with world opinion, maybe get a real story out there," Wurzelbacher says. I think the thing he'll probably hear the most will be, "Who the hell are you again?"

His knowledge of Israel is breathtaking in its scarcity. At one point, he said that a vote for Obama would be a vote for the death of Israel. Even FOX News called BS on that one. In the same interview, he told Shepherd Smith, "Listen, you don’t want my opinion on foreign policy. I know just enough probably to be dangerous."

Now that's what you want in a foreign correspondent -- nearly limitless ignorance of the subject matter. (Christian Science Monitor)