News Roundup for 12/23/08

Two people who are now illegal in Brighton, MI

-Headline of the day-
"Michigan City Bans 'Being Annoying in Public'."

I'm torn. An ordinance passed by the Brighton City Council tickets those who "by word of mouth, sign or motions" annoy people. As one of the highly annoyable in this world, my first reaction is to rejoice. But, as one of the highly annoyable in this world, I recognize that annoyance isn't exactly a universal, concrete thing. In my world, this law would cover about 90% of TV advertising and 100% of radio ads. As much as 20%-30% of people wouldn't be allowed to leave their houses. Aqua Teen Hunger Force and Two and a Half Men would be forced off the air and those greeting cards that play synthesized Christmas carols would be pulled from the shelves.

But then there's that whole Freedom of Speech thing -- it turns out that annoying speech is still actually speech. It's just annoying."[T]he idea of 'annoying speech' is so incredibly subjective that it can mean any speech," writes Austin Wilkes, "thus giving the executive (police) the complete and total fiat of determining what speech is acceptable for the community."

That sounds bad.

Still, if it keeps that high school kid from yelling "SHUT UP! NO, REALLY. SHE DID NOT! SHUT. UP." into her cell phone every five minutes on the bus, it just might be worth it. And dare to imagine a world where no one ever asks you, "Workin' hard or hardly workin'?"

Like I say, I'm torn. (United Liberty)


-Hoaxing the Gray Lady-
That bastion of journalism, the New York Times, printed a letter from the Mayor of Paris -- Bertrand Delanoe -- expressing outrage at the prospect of Caroline Kennedy being appointed to fill Hillary Clinton's soon to be vacated senate seat. Calling the possible appointment "appalling" and "not very democratic," the letter found it's way on to the paper's letters page.

Of course, Delanoe didn't actually write the letter. The first clue should've been that there would be no reason for the Mayor of Paris to give a damn one way or another. "We have already expressed our regrets to Mr. Delanoe's office and we are now doing the same to you, our readers," the paper said in a printed statement.

Asked for comment, Delanoe told the New York Times, "I fart in your general direction" and "I wave my privates at your Aunties." (Associated Press)


-Bonus HotD-
"Pooping Robot Dolls Are the Hot Toys of 2008."

Really? Then why is this the first time I've ever heard of them? According to the report, "Dolls like 'Baby Alive' come with special 'green beans' and 'bananas' that can be fed to the doll, 'digested' and 'defecated.' To enhance the fun, Baby Alive occasionally poops prematurely creating a lifelike mess for you to clean up. Awesome right? Then there is the 'Little Mommy Real Loving Baby Gotta Go Doll' with over 60 realistic phrases and fun sounds. It comes complete with a magic toilet that must be flushed after each use."

Sounds great. How long do I have to wait for a doll that realistically pukes all over the back seat after getting car sick? Because that's just so adorable... (Gizmodo)