Bailout THIS!

(originally posted on TIBU)

All right I have fought not to write something about this ridiculous corporate welfare state we’re embarking on, but I’ve had enough! This is OUR money people! You want $700 billion of our money to be put in the hands of the very criminals who caused this to begin with? And you want to let a government agency decide how it gets farmed out as they change their minds every week?

The banks – Hell with them let them fold! There are two cascading problems here; people losing their jobs and then losing their homes, or people just losing their homes because they listened to some loan officer paint them a rosy picture of an adjustable rate mortgage.

If you want to fix it, draw a line today that delineates anyone in the past twelve months who lost their home, or is in process of losing their home, due to the current economic conditions qualifies for a no interest 30 year loan. But, you ask, what if they no longer have a job? Good point. Anyone who has been the victim of a layoff in the past twelve months immediately begins to receive an additional $100 per week additional on their unemployment checks. Those who are about to lose unemployment benefits, or have lost unemployment benefits in the past six months are eligible to reapply at this new rate as well. All of this funded out of the $700 billion already earmarked.

The not so Big Three automakers – Let them fall as well. These execs seem to think they deserve this money, like we owe it to them because they couldn’t run their businesses. I say don’t give THEM one red cent. Instead, give the American people the option to buy any of their cars currently on their lots at a 30% to 50% discount depending on the type of vehicle, with that 30% to 50% being paid to the car companies out of the $700 billion bailout fund. Oh and you tricky bastards, if we find you raised the prices from their current lows of the year you go to jail! That’s right… JAIL!

This has several advantages. The car dealers are laying off salesmen left and right, so they can call them back to work, the cars on the lot aren’t selling so the dealers are stuck with this glut of inventory, the manufacturers can’t make more cars cause they can’t sell the ones they have leading to layoffs. All this gets fixed in one fell swoop.

The difference in the percentage off would be based on fuel economy. Any vehicle that has a highway MPG rating less than 30 would qualify for 30% off, any car 30 MPG or higher qualifies for 50%. Obviously this would cause the number of high mileage cars on the road to go up, further decreasing our dependence on foreign oil and squeezing OPEC’s nuts.

But, you ask, where does the money come from for the loans for these cars? Well banks silly! Depending on the buyers credit rating they can get a guaranteed rate of 1.9% to 5.9% loan also funded through the $700 billion.

Oh, and in order for this to work really well… all of the these CEO’s get shit-canned for their abysmal performance (you know like we would be) and a salary cap is mandated on ALL publicly traded companies that is a ratio between highest and lowest paid employees. If the CEO/CFO/CIO wants a raise, the cashier, or the oil change guy, or secretary or whoever is lowest on the ladder gets to have one too. You make the ratio 300 to 1 if you want… there just needs to be a number. At a 300/1 ratio if the lowest paid is getting $20k/yr it gives the CEO $6 million. If they can’t live within their means at that rate then tell them to go work in Dubai. Oh… and none of their fuzzy math bullshit either… this is TOTAL compensation. I’m not talking about replacing wages with stock options or any of that crap they always try.

Seems simple to me, but I’m a simple guy.