News Roundup for 1/26/12

Garden gnome drops pants, moons
Pictured: Gingrich responds to question on CNN

-Headline of the Day-
"Gingrich campaign admits error."

And "error" is media-speak for "bald-faced lie."

Remember when Newt's ex-wife Marianne went on the teevee to say that Newt had wanted an open marriage? Yeah, well after that happened, he went on the offensive. And Noodles did it by doing what Noodles does in pretty much every situation -- he attacked the media messenger.

It was a terrible thing to have Marianne on ABC News, yacking about how her husband wanted to keep seeing his mistress (who is now his wife). It wasn't true and ABC knew it!

"The story was false," Newt said in the last debate. "Every personal friend I have who knew us in that period says the story is false. We offered several of them to ABC to prove it was false. They weren't interested."

Turns out that ABC News wasn't interested because they have some sort of discriminatory policy against nonexistent sources. Newt didn't offer the network any buddies from his old marriage, but "only recommended Gingrich's two daughters from his first marriage." Because, if there's anyone who knows all about a couple's wild, swinging sex life, it's the kids.

Then, during an interview on CNN, Newt said it again. ABC News ignored Newt's phantom sources and that was just the worst thing ever. When CNN's John King told Gingrich that ABC said they were offered no corroborating sources, Newt became indignant.

"If they're saying that, then they're not being honest," Gingrich said. "We had several people prepared to be very clear and very aggressive in their dispute about that, and [ABC News] wasn't interested."

Newt's story died today, when his own campaign finally admitted that the whole thing was BS. Newt was lying -- which, as we've established, gets called an "error" when you're running for president. As if he accidentally said he did something -- at least twice -- which he didn't actually do.

The moral of this story, boys and girls, is that if you're going to play the victim card, you kind of want to actually have it. (CNN)

-Cartoon time with Mark Fiore-
Hey kids, have you heard about our Marxist president's terrible State of the Union speech? It was just one long string of commie statement after commie statement. It was almost unAmerican!

Here's a clip. Prepare to get really, really mad!

Mark Fiore SOTU cartoon
Click for animation

Well, OK then. Never mind. (MarkFiore.com)

-Bonus HotD-
"Romney Would Like You to Believe His Tax Rate Is 'Closer to 40 or 50 Percent.'"

See, it's all very complicated. First off, Mittens gave money to charity, which is exactly the same thing as paying taxes -- even if you can write some of it off on your taxes. Then of course, there's that whole corporate tax rate -- which he didn't actually pay, because he's not a corporation.

You know, I'm kind of thinking Mittens might not be entirely honest here. (Wonkette)

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