News Roundup for 4/15/11

Kyl adjusts tie
I tell ya, Jon Kyl don't get no respect...

-Headline of the day-
"Kyl Aide: My 'Not Intended To Be A Factual Statement' Statement Was Not Intended To Be A Factual Statement."

You might remember that Sen. Jon Kyl caught some flack for saying that "well over 90%" of what Planned Parenthood does is perform abortions. Turned out that wasn't so much true. In fact, it was Bizarro-world not-true -- well over 90% of what PP does not do is abortion. Only 3% of Planned Parenthood services are abortion services.

So, Kyl said in a statement that his figure was "not intended to be a factual statement" -- which is fancy-talk for "Hey, it was a lie, OK?" Everyone thought this was the stupidest non-defense we'd ever heard and we all enjoyed laughing at Sen. Jon Kyl.

Well, Kyle doesn't like that much. He's a serious man who pulls serious figures out of his serious butt. Laughing at him will not be allowed to stand! So he did what all serious Heroes do -- he threw his spokesperson to the wolves.

"Senator Kyl misspoke when he incorrectly cited a statistic on the Senate floor last week regarding Planned Parenthood," says Kyl spokesperson Ryan Patmintra. "Rather than simply state that in response to a media inquiry, I responded that his comment was not intended to be a factual statement; a comment that, in retrospect, made no sense. Senator Kyl neither saw nor approved that response."

Obviously, this still leaves the question -- was it intended to be factual or wasn't it? Or, to put it as the question we so often ask about Republicans: is Jon Kyl lying or just stupid? Americans demand to know and, by addressing the ridicule without addressing the underlying cause for the ridicule, Kyl and company leave the question unresolved.

Don't worry guys, you'll dig your way out of this hole yet. Just keep plugging away. (ThinkProgress)

-Altas Sucked-
Sure, the House GOP passed Paul Ryan's fantasy-economics porn today, but no one actually believes it's going any farther than that. All that's been accomplished here is the groundwork for "Rep. ___ even voted to privatize Medicare!" campaign ads the next time around.

No, the big news is that a movie version of Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged hit theaters today -- and it stinks out loud. You'd think a barely-disguised political screed with all the actual literary value of Peyton Place could only be improved upon, but you'd be wrong.

"Out of the 16 critics who have reviewed the movie on the website Rotten Tomatoes, just one has given a positive review with 15 negative reviews," according to the report. "The critics are nearly universal in slamming the movie for lack of talent, cinematography, and direction."

"Let's say you know the novel, you agree with Ayn Rand, you're an objectivist or a libertarian, and you've been waiting eagerly for this movie," writes Roger Ebert. "Man, are you going to get a letdown."

For myself, I'm in heaven. My absolute favorite form of literature is a bad review -- so I am going to have so much fun! And the fact that a movie made by and for people who claim to really understand how markets work is going to be a box office bomb? Even better.

Did I mention that Paul Ryan is a huge Ayn Rand fanboy?

It just keeps getting better. (Examiner)

-Bonus HotD-
"Trump's a Joke."

Y'don't say? (The Cook Report)

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