News Roundup for 1/27/11

National Zoo logo
Future home of Sens. Vitter and Paul

-Headline of the day-
"Rand Paul, David Vitter join forces to violate Constitution."

According to the report, "Freshman Tea Party pseudo-libertarian Sen. Rand Paul and Louisiana embarrassment David Vitter are introducing legislation that will end birthright citizenship. While birthright citizenship stems directly from the 14th Amendment, which means that banning it would require a constitutional amendment, Vitter and Paul have figured out a loophole: Their bill claims that the 14th Amendment doesn't mean what it says. Brilliant!"

While Randy and Dave say they "do not believe that the 14th Amendment confers birthright citizenship to the children of illegal aliens," the amendment itself says, "All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside." So, yeah, that's exactly what it does. Sorry guys.

So, basically, the idea is to define the Fourth Amendment for the Supreme Court, so they can't say it means what it says. Do I need to point out that this is stupid and would never work in a million years?

I mean, as long as we're writing laws that hinge on deliberately misunderstanding what the Constitution clearly states, why don't we write one that defines the Third Amendment guarantee that you won't be required to house soldiers as really meaning that David Vitter and Rand Paul have to be on display in a cage at the National Zoo?

And Dave and Randy wouldn't be able to complain, because it says so right there in the Constitution. What, do they hate America? (War Room)

-Cartoon time with Mark Fiore-
Hey kids, do you want to go to a magical place? How about...

AT&T's real boy now! (MarkFiore.com)

-Bonus HotD-
"'Tea Party News Brief': The New News Network For the Insane."

I can't do better than Wonkette, who say the internet news outlet was necessary, because "Fox News seemed suspiciously lucid and organized." (Wonkette)

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