News Roundup for 10/29/09

Be Prepared

-Headline of the day-
"South Carolina state attorney caught with stripper in graveyard."

Just in time for Halloween.

According to the report, "A deputy assistant attorney general who said he was on his lunch break when an officer found him with a stripper and sex toys in his sport utility vehicle has been fired... Roland Corning, 66, a former state legislator, was in a secluded part of a downtown cemetery when an officer spotted him Monday, according to a police report obtained by The Associated Press under the Freedom of Information Act."

Cops found him and a nice young lady from the Platinum Plus Gentleman's Club in the cemetery and they gave "conflicting stories" about what they were doing there.

OK, so Roland's banging strippers in the local cemetery. That's weird, but so what? The funny comes when Officer Michael Wines took a gander inside Corning's truck. "searched the SUV, where he found a Viagra pill and several sex toys, items Corning said he always kept with him, 'just in case'..." AP reports.

Just in case of what, exactly? I guess you never know when you'll need a dildo or a vibrator or whatever it was, but is that really a good reason to keep one handy? Whatever...

Corning -- a former Republican legislator -- finds himself out of a job. Maybe he can get a gig as a spokesman for Acme Cemetery Dildos or something. What's up with South Carolina Republicans anyway? (Associated Press)


-Cartoon time with Mark Fiore-
Hey kids, here's a message from the credit card companies on credit reform!


Click for animation

In related news, the sun came up this morning and that's gonna harm your credit... (MarkFiore.com)


-Net Neutrality visual aid-
Does the issue of net neutrality make your eyes glaze over? Does talk about webputers and facetubes and news aggravators and bandspace put you in a coma?

Well, help is here. Run around on your favorite webtweetles for a little bit. That's the intertubes with net neutrality.

Here's your favorite netlinks without net neutrality:



Any questions? (DVICE, via TommyTelephone)