News Roundup for 10/14/09

Completely Satanic book

-Headline of the day-
"Celebrate Halloween With A Good Old Fashioned Book Burning."

Yay! The Amazing Grace Baptist Church in Canton, North Carolina has decided to turn the clock back to ye olde days with a book burning, complete with "bar-b-que chicken, fried chicken and all the sides." "Sides" apparently being things like sauteed Bible.

According to Raw Story, "Church leaders deem Good News for Modern Man, the Evidence Bible, the New International Version Bible, the Green Bible and the Message Bible, as well as at least seven other versions of the Bible as 'Satan's Bibles,' according to the [the church's] website."

Other things that will be burned are CDs of "Satan's music," which includes -- but apparently is not limited to -- "country, rap, rock, pop, heavy metal, western, soft and easy, southern gospel, contemporary Christian, jazz, soul, oldies but goldies, etc." So pretty much all music is evil.

Looking at the list of authors Satan publishes, you've got to wonder who the hell could possibly be "Christian enough" for these frootloops; "We will also be burning Satan's popular books written by heretics like Westcott & Hort, Bruce Metzger, Billy Graham, Rick Warren, Bill Hybels, John McArthur, James Dobson, Charles Swindoll, John Piper, Chuck Colson, Tony Evans, Oral Roberts, Jimmy Swagart, Mark Driskol, Franklin Graham, Bill Bright, Tim Lahaye, Paula White, T.D. Jakes, Benny Hinn, Joyce Myers, Brian McLaren, Robert Schuller, Mother Teresa, The Pope, Rob Bell, Erwin McManus, Donald Miller, Shane Claiborne, Brennan Manning, William Young, etc." So pretty much anything that's ever been published -- left, right, or middle. Show up with the owners manual for your vacuum cleaner or the menu from the Chinese buffet down the street and I'm pretty sure they'll be up for burning it.

"[I]t's a little disconcerting how close this is to my home," said local resident David Lynch. "They are burning so much stuff I've dubbed them the hypocritical Christian Taliban. Just the scope of all the information they want to destroy is pretty disturbing."

On the plus side, if you've got some crap you want to get rid of, take it on down to Canton, North Carolina and they'll get rid of it for you. It doesn't seem to make any damned difference what it is, the odds are good that it's Satanic. And you'll even get some chicken. Don't get it with the BBQ sauce though, because BBQ is Satan's condiment.

I'm surprised they don't know that. (Right Wing Watch)


-Speaking of Satanic books...-
...Sarah Palin's new book Remembering Stuff I Quit Doing in the Middle of: The Sarah Palin Story is going on sale next month. Shortly afterward, it'll shoot up on the New York Times bestseller list, despite the fact that no one will be able to think of anyone who's read it -- just like Ann Coulter's books.

And, in concert with this blockbuster's release, Palin plans to start a new political organization. The group, "Stand Up For Our Nation," will... ummm... well, that's not really clear. But she thought up a spiffy name and that's half the battle. What it'll actually do is just sweating the details. According to the report, Palin spokespeople "refused to provide any details about the new organization's purpose or structure."

But don't you worry too much about that there... It'll be just a super organization. You betcha! (Wall Street Journal)


-Bonus HotD-
"Steele: I'm The 'Cow On The Tracks' Trying To Block The Health Care Train."

What?

You really don't need a lot of background on this one, but here you go anyway -- Republican National Committee chairman Michael Steele is against healthcare reform. The end.

So, in an interview on Fox News, Mike and some foxbot had the following exchange:


HOST: Very quickly, Chairman Steele. The feeling in some circles is that this health care train has left the station with the President at the wheel, and Republicans better jump on board.

STEELE: Well, I'm the cow on the tracks, and you're going to have to stop that train to get this cow off the tracks and move forward.


Yeah, you don't have to do that. You can just waste the freakin' cow with this fancy thing you call a "cowcatcher."

"If you look at that analogy, the cow is not much of a match for that train," another foxbot said later.

Yeah, not much. (Think Progress, with video)