News Roundup for 4/17/12

Not a smart man

-Headline of the Day-
"Mitthusiasm: House Conservative Edition."

One of the great pleasures of an all-but certain Republican nomination of Mitt Romney is watching all the wingnuts who'd attacked him as a RINO on the campaign trail squirm uncomfortably as they try to pretend to be happy about their nominee. The excruciatingly forced smiles, the staged excitement -- it's all really entertaining. Especially as you consider the look in their eyes; like they'd just swallowed an entire peeled lemon dipped in vinegar. The crazies are clearly not happy. And when they're unhappy, I'm overjoyed.

This unease with Romney was apparent when the rightest of the right in the House staged a press conference. No reason, just "conversations with conservatives" and an excuse for the election-minded to chase cameras around. It turns out that reporters actually show up to these things, on the off-chance that someone may say something worth repeating. The fact that you hardly ever hear about these common pressers tells you all you need to know about what they're usually worth.

According to Dave Weigel, whose unenviable task it is to sit through these timewasters, "the first question that tripped anybody up, from The Hill's Russ Berman, was whether members were 'excited' about incoming Republican nominee Mitt Romney."

Sure they were, they all said. Because Mittens is gonna beat Barack HUSSEIN Obama and that automatically makes him a freakin' hero. They all took turns agreeing on how important that was -- until it was Louie Gohmert's turn.

"If you're not sure about whether to support Mitt Romney," the dumbest member in the history of congress said, "whether you're liberal, or whether you're very conservative, you ought to be excited, because he's been on your side at one time or another."

OK, so that wasn't the message they were going for. It's probably not a good idea to bring up what a flipflopper Mitt is when you're trying to praise him. "You could tell, in the room, that Gohmert had just created a 'narrative' against Romney," Weigel reports.

Gohmert finally realized that he'd screwed everything up. But luckily he has experience in dealing with that particular problem since -- as I've mentioned -- he's the dumbest member in the history of congress.

"So I'm not completely understood," he said, "I'm not as excited as I am desparate."

Romney 2012. Feel the excitement! (Weigel)


-Desperate housewife-


Click for full comic

And that's not even counting all the doubloons she has to polish. (GoComics)


-Bonus HotD-
"The 'secrecy' card."

Team Romney's latest defense: if you criticize Mitt Romney for admitting to hiding his agenda, it means you hate Mormons. (War Room)